Billy shook his head sadly at Ben, but didn’t voice an opinion. He just waited for the fireworks to start.
Hannah stood there feeling the pain slice through her deeply like a sharp knife. She didn’t even feel angry, just sad as she looked at Ben’s angry face. It would always be like this between them and soon their love would turn to hate. She didn’t think she could survive that. Look how painful it was now.
“Just go, Ben. I have a lot to do and I can’t deal with you right now,” she said, the hurt evident in her voice. She walked away to get a broom to start the cleanup, leaving him standing alone in a room of people glaring angrily at him until he left.
Chapter Ten
“Thanks for coming with me, Grace. I hope I didn’t mess up your work schedule,” Hannah said as she drove to Austin for her first doctor appointment. She was still upset with Ben and had avoided all his calls. She was too mad to talk right now and she was afraid if they did talk it would only be to argue. Memories of her parents’ awful fight still remained in her head and the awful words they would say to each other. She didn’t want things between her and Ben to escalate to that level and she was afraid they would and be irreparable.
“No, Lisa was happy to switch shifts with me,” Grace replied and frowned, shaking her head in unbelief. “I can’t believe Ben is being so blind. I told him not too long ago Dorothy was a stalker and to be firm with her. I guess he didn’t believe me.”
“Ben thinks women are all soft and fragile. His mom was a hardworking woman, but always sick or tired, and he took charge of everything. I guess that image stuck in his head and it’s hard for him to understand a woman is just as dangerous as a man. I understand that, but he hurt my feelings by always defending that woman.” She couldn’t even say her name. “I believe him when he says he has no interest in dating her. But I want him to respect me enough to believe me when I come to him with my concerns. I just don’t think we’re ready to enter a marriage. Not while we have such major disagreements. I don’t regret my baby, though. I will love him or her for the both of us.”
“You have all of us, too, Hannah. This baby will be loved by many, I don’t worry about that. I worry about you. You are such a strong person and I have always admired that quality about you. Do you know how many times I watched you face life with a ‘take the bull by its horns’ attitude? Remember the night we faced James and you held the rifle pointed toward him, I was scared shitless and I knew you were, too. But I also knew you would pull the trigger to protect me and cry later,” Grace said, remembering that awful night her crazy ex had kidnapped her. “But it’s also okay to admit you need help, too. Promise me if there is anything I can do to help you, you’ll come to me.”
Hannah smiled at Grace emotionally. “Grace, don’t you know how much you help me just by being my friend? The way you and Amy took charge and bullied me out of my depression over Ben. I’ll get through this with or without Ben, but not because I’m so strong, but because I have such a great support system. Now stop making me cry.”
Grace giggled. “Okay, no more mushiness. There is a reggae music festival going on so I think we should stop by after your doctor appointment and dance. I love the rhythm of reggae.”
Hannah nodded enthusiastically and said. “I’m craving barbecue, too, so let’s just make a day out of it. I could use a fun day away from Bear Creek.”
* * * *
Ben sat with Jackson out at the ranch, feeling miserable. Why didn’t he think before he opened his mouth? Now he was missing out on Hannah’s first baby appointment and he had been looking forward to it. He had already written out a list of concerns to ask the doctor about. Jackson looked at his friend with part sympathy and part irritation.
“Go ahead and chew me out. I can see how hard you are trying to hold it in.” Ben sighed dejectedly with his hands in his pockets, leaning against the porch railing.
“You know who you remind me of?” Jackson began quietly. “Me, with Kelly. How many times did you and others warn me to open my eyes about her? I stubbornly refused to see what you saw, what everyone in town saw, until it was too late and it almost destroyed me.”
Ben groaned and closed his eyes, leaning back tiredly. He hadn’t slept. “I know I messed up with Hannah again. I should never have opened my mouth and I may be a blind fool, but do you really think Dorothy is dangerous?”
“Let me ask you this, Ben,” Jackson said, looking at Ben seriously. “Who is more important to you—Hannah or Dorothy?”
“Hannah. How can you even ask me that?” he asked in shock, looking at his best friend with surprise. “I have loved Hannah for a long time now and you know that, Jackson. I waited for her to grow up but I have always thought of Hannah as my girl.”
“If you love Hannah, why do you think she would lie to you about her concerns and suspicions? I wanted to beat the crap out of you for taking Dorothy’s side over my sister, but Hannah wouldn’t let me. If you honestly can’t protect my sister and the baby then stay away from her, Ben. I will take responsibility for them both,” Jackson said, his voice shaking with anger. “I will make sure this crazy woman does not hurt either one of them.”
Ben looked at Jackson with his mouth gaping, feeling speechless. Is that how people saw it, that he was taking Dorothy’s side over Hannah? Richard and Amy glared at him rudely this morning when he went into the shelter to talk to Hannah and they told him Hannah took Grace to her doctor’s appointment and wouldn’t be in that day.
“I didn’t mean to sound like I thought Hannah was lying.” He tried to explain but he felt confused with everything that was happening lately and b
acked into a corner. He didn’t like the feeling but it was hard to imagine Dorothy as anything but lonely and desperate. He felt sorry for her desperation, but did that make her capable of being malicious?
“Why don’t you believe Hannah? Learn from my mistake. I would have argued with you before that Kelly might be a bitch but she would never hurt Grace in any way. My ignorance almost cost Grace her life,” Jackson told him, remembering with remorse that Kelly had teamed up and helped James kidnap Grace.
“Just go home and do some thinking, Ben. Either you’re going to stand beside my sister or that crazy woman. It’s your decision, just make up your mind once and for all. All this back and forth between you and Hannah is not good for any you or any of us.”
Ben drove home feeling depressed and confused.
* * * *
Hannah called Ben that evening after her doctor’s appointment to let him know everything was okay with the baby. She owed him that much. She told him everything was fine and she would be seeing Dr. Belle once a month for now.
Ben started to apologize but Hannah stopped him. “Listen, Ben. I’ve done a lot of thinking about us. I know you love me and I love you too. Sometimes love just isn’t enough. I don’t want a marriage like my parents had.” She explained to him memories of her parents’ awful fights where they would tear each other apart with words. “I especially don’t want our baby exposed to that kind of environment.”
“It wouldn’t be like that between us,” Ben protested over the phone.
Hannah let out a tired sigh. Relationships were harder to deal with than she thought. She just didn’t have the strength right now. The pregnancy was making her feel emotional and so tired and sick. “Eventually we will. You don’t believe me when I say I feel threatened by Dorothy and that cuts me up inside. How do you expect me not to feel jealous over her? Who knows, she might be better for you. She always looks perfect and bakes you cookies, things I can’t do. I don’t think we’re ready for marriage or even a relationship, Ben. I trusted you when you said you were not interested in dating Dorothy even though it burned me up inside to see her flirting with you at every turn, so why can’t I expect the same trust from you?”