In truth I had absolutely no idea where her hand was or where I was in relation to her. But I had to try. I had to do something. As shock started to wear off and adrenaline started to kick in, I realized my right leg was wedged under a piece of fallen concrete. It wasn’t that big, I could move it.
I had to move it.
I had no choice.
“Axe I’m scared,” her little voice practically broke my heart.
“Don’t be,” I said in a soft tone as I tried to quietly push the piece of concrete off my leg. I couldn’t let Hannah know I was injured, “I’m going to get you out of here and back home to your family, okay?”
“Okay, Axe,” Hannah’s voice was so meek and terrified.
I had to get to her. It was up to me. No one was coming for us. That’s the way it worked. I was the only one who could rescue us. But first I needed this damn concrete off my leg.
Twenty-Four
Honor
I was really starting to worry. No. That’s a lie. I was “really starting to worry” last week. Now that it had almost been two weeks, I was beside myself with fear for Axel’s safety. I didn’t even know what country he was in. Maybe he was in The Red Zone. Maybe he was hours or even days away. I had no idea where he was and that killed me. It was all I could think about—the not knowing.
What I wanted more than anything was to see Axe come around the corner and up the steps to my apartment, safe and sound and in my arms again.
Why had he not contacted me? Did something happen during the mission? Oh my God did something go wrong? Was he captured? Had he been… I couldn’t even think about that.
I had run out of things to do to keep myself busy. I worked non-stop and volunteered for every outing possible. I had interviewed what felt like every single one of the two thousand people living in The Green Zone. It was getting tedious and I didn’t know how soldiers did it, day in and day out, living in this relentless fucking heat and blazing sun and god damn sand.
Relax Honor, I thought, you’re not acting like yourself.
But I couldn’t help it. I wanted to jump out of my own skin, to scream, to beg, to negotiate with the universe—just bring him back to me! But it was useless. All I could do was wait.
Twenty-Five
Axel
Days passed, I have no idea how many. Hannah and I were barricaded amongst the rubble of what I could only imagine was a collapsed apartment building. I still couldn’t really remember exactly what had happened. I must have had a concussion. Honestly I wasn’t sure how much longer we could last. We had apparently fallen down into a deep basement (perhaps the explosion or earthquake had created the crater-like hole) but we were a least fifty feet deep.
Hannah and I had managed to move enough concrete and other debris out of the way to find each other and we sat together, living on the rations I had in my pack. But it would only last a couple more days. Three at the most. I was acutely aware at how little time we had left. But I heard no signs of rescue personnel—no one even digging for deceased family members. I realized the apartment building must have belonged to The Fear Division, because they never claim their dead.
Despite the horrific reality that was slowly washing over me, Hannah was a brave little Soldier Girl, that’s what I had taken to calling her. We played a game to pass the time; Hannah told me two things about herself that were true and one thing that was a lie. The game was to guess which was the lie.
“Okay, Axe,” she giggled after I had guessed correctly that she’d never met a unicorn personally. “Your turn!”
“Umm, okay let me think, let me think…” I said with a curious tone to pique her interest. “Got it! Okay, I once caught a fish, back home, and it was twice as big as you, Hannah, I swear. This fish was massive! Next, it’s funny you should mention unicorns because I grew up on a unicorn ranch! My family breeds them. And finally, we’re going to get out of here very, very soon, my Soldier Girl, I promise you that.”
Hannah took a bite of her ration, a peanut butter flavored protein bar and raised her eyebrow, I could tell she was thinking hard about which of the three things I had said were true and which was a lie. She was silent for a moment and then looked at me straight in the eyes.
“I thought you were tricking me,” she said, “but that’s actually an easy one.”
“Oh really, smartypants,” I said as I tousled her hair and she giggled. “Then which one is the lie and which two are the truth?
Suddenly Hannah’s lower lip started to quiver and she leapt into my lap, “the last one is the lie,” she said as she wrapped her tiny arms around my neck and started to cry, “we’re never getting out of here.”
My stomach sank into a pit. I was heartbroken for Hannah. I gave her a big bear hug and said quietly, “no, sweetheart. Don’t ever say that. I promise you, I will get you out of here.”
She pulled back and stared at me, blinking as little tears streamed down her cheeks, “then you can take me to your unicorn ranch?”
I couldn’t help but well up too, I smiled and as I fought back tears of my own I said, “you bet, Soldier Girl!”
Hannah snuggled in close to my chest and fell asleep as I kept watch that night. Through the rubble I could barely see a pinhole view of the sky, revealing the moon shinning over a world I feared had forgotten us.