Welcome to Hell: Rediscovering First Love

“Yancy, something is wrong. What is it?” I asked knowing that my mother’s voice sounded different and strained.

“Gabrielle, what do you want?” Yancy snapped at me.

My mother never ever snapped. She was excitable but usually calm and cool. She never snapped.

“Did I interrupt something?”

“No,” she replied tersely.

“Okay…well Yancy…Gemma called this morning. She wanted to share some good news with me. That I want to share with you.”

“What Gabrielle? Spit it out. Stop tap dancing. What the hell has your sister done now that you need to tell me?”

Our mother, like our father knew her daughter’s well.

“She married Troy over the weekend while they were in Las Vegas,” I blurted out the words quickly with a whoosh of air. I held my breath. Nothing. “Yancy, are you there?” I asked.

“Gabrielle, that is wonderful. I’ll call Gem later and thank her for spending my money on deposits that are nonrefundable so could she run off with that boy. ” Troy was hardly a boy.

Her voice trailed off into silence. Was she still there? A deafening silence filled the space of time before… “Dear can you come home?” Yancy asked hesitatingly sad.

“What’s wrong?” I was panicked at the soft sound of utter helplessness that filled my mother’s voice. She was a strong woman. If she was this upset something was very terribly wrong with my mother. I didn’t like the sound of this.

“Doctor Winkle found a lump in my breast at my last exam. He took a tissue sample of the lump last week and I have an appointment tomorrow to find out if the lump is cancer. I need you. I can’t do this alone.”

”Have you told Pop?”

“Not yet. No need to worry him until I have to. You know your father Gabrielle.”

I did indeed know Pop. He was a worrier. Jack would fuss over Yancy which would annoy her. He would get on Yancy’s last nerve. They would scream at each other until the results were back. It was best that she hadn’t told him but why not tell him now so he could go with her tomorrow?

Without hesitation, I replied, “I will be there as quickly as possible.”

“Thank you dear. I can’t wait to see you…and Keegan,” she added as almost an afterthought.

I decided not to take offense and started making arrangements for my trip to Hell.

Chapter Four

Flying to my mother’s house was out of the question. Last minute notice for two airplane tickets would cost too much money. I called James at the office and his secretary haughtily informed me he was in a meeting so I left her a message to give to him. “I don’t know when I’ll be returning,” I told her before hanging up the telephone and fuck you too! Feeling more isolated from my husband, even his secretary was now dissing me. What did she know about our marital status? What had he been telling her?

I took Kat out of school at noon and with clothes thrown into suitcases that were tossed in the back of my Toyota SUV I drove to Hell, Michigan. The drive was an exhausting six-hour trip door to door without stopping. Driving well over the legal speed limit I arrived at six o’clock and we had stopped for dinner. Yancy was waiting at the door for us.

Gone was the vulnerable woman who had asked me to come home to be with her. She was raging mad evident by the fire in her eyes and the red cheeks to match her equally vibrant red hair.

“I thought you said you couldn’t fly,” She said in her snappy tone of voice that had always intimidated me as a teenager.

“Nice to see you too,” I replied kissing my mother’s soft supple cheek pushing the uncomfortable feelings deep inside me. For God’s sake I was a grown woman. Why could she still make me feel like a small, eight-year-old child being scolded for being late to dinner?

“Hi Nana,” Kat said quietly hurrying through the front door with her suitcase in hand, preferring to not draw attention to herself.

“Keegan, you look as wonderful as ever.”

“Thank you Nana,” Kat replied. “I’m going to my room now. Right away. See you later.”

Kat spent too much time hiding from the elders in her family. She didn’t look that freakish in my mind. Her jeans were not cut or ripped. Her tee shirt was bright and clean, no holes either. Her hair although it was brilliant purple at the moment was not spiked as usual. Her make-up was a little heavy but still she did not look that bad. Did she?

“Keegan.” My mother’s voice was soft and urgent when she said my daughter’s name.