Welcome to Hell: Rediscovering First Love

I had my own secret to share. I knew it was crazy. Sam was only three and half months old but I was pregnant again as well. I hadn’t told Kerry yet. I had just taken the test this morning before we left for Michigan. Another little part of my heart had healed when that test turned positive. It felt right. My home was going to be filled with the children that I had wanted. Hopefully one more after this one. I smiled to myself. Hopefully you are a thumper and a kicker like your brother. I enjoyed the activity until the last few weeks.

Then, we stood on the porch uncomfortably staring at each other. They were unsure of what to say to me. I wasn’t fragile not anymore.

“How are you Gabby?” Adin finally asked what the others had wanted to ask but didn’t.

We hadn’t spoken about Yancy or at least they hadn’t spoken to me about her since her funeral. I was better though I still missed her. I was still grieving but I had accepted that she was gone.

“I’m getting better,” I said confidently. “I’ve been talking to a grief counselor. That has been a tremendous help. Kerry has been wonderful too.”

“Jack has been seeing a therapist,” Micki informed me. “It seems that his opinion of his father isn’t what it once was.”

“There’s a huge change in him,” I agreed with Micki. “Maturity.”

“Yes, there is. He and Byron had a falling out over me. Jack won’t talk about it but he’s moved into the house with Wynne and me. He’s taking some college courses. He quit the grocery store, which prompted Byron to threaten disinheriting him but he said he doesn’t care. Jack even gets along well with Michael. I have my son back.” My sister was so happy. She had it all now.

“You’re back,” I replied, “so maybe Jack realized where his home was too.” Glancing around me I added, “Does it feel strange to you? Being here without her,” I clarified.

“We’ve had time to get used to it,” Gem answered. “We’ve been dealing with it every day. One of us tries to be here with Pop every weekend.”

“Do you think just because I’m not here that I haven’t been confronted with it day in and day out?” I asked Gem defensively.

“That isn’t what I meant,” Gemma replied sullenly.

“How’s Pop doing?” I asked.

The sisters looked at each other than to me. Michaela finally answered. “He’s quieter still. He rarely smiles. Pretty much like he was when you left. He eats dinner with us then goes to bed. Although he and Jack have been fishing together a lot. I think that has helped him.”

I nodded in agreement. Grateful my nephew had been there for Pop.

Just then a strange car turned into the driveway. My daughter got out of the passenger side of the car. I was surprised to see a young man get out of the driver’s seat. She hadn’t mentioned bringing anyone. Excitement filled me at seeing Keegan and surprise at her guest. Keegan was all smiles when she squealed and ran the few steps to me. We were embracing while the kid stood behind us awkwardly waiting to be introduced.

“Who’s this?” I whispered to my daughter without releasing her. I had missed her so much. I never wanted to let her go again.

“This is Adam Marro,” she said still holding onto me but extending her hand to Adam which he willingly took. She guided him closer to us. “He’s my boyfriend. I wanted to surprise you.”

“Well you’ve done that,” I replied. “Adam it is nice to meet you.” I extended my hand to him. He released Kat’s hand and he shook mine politely.

“Nice to meet you too,” he replied in a deep husky voice that didn’t look like it should belong to such a young looking kid.

He was tall, dark and athletic, a runner I thought. Not the type that I had seen Keegan with before but my daughter had changed. He brought a smile to her face that made her glow with happiness and she was sleeping with him, I thought to myself. We need to discuss birth control. I made a note to talk to her when we were alone.

We were walking towards the house when the thought slammed into me that I was thinking like Yancy and acting like her. I had taught Keegan everything she needed to know about protecting herself from pregnancy and disease. She would come to me if she needed advice.

“Are you okay Mom?” She asked because of my hesitation.

“Just fine,” I replied.

Arm in arm we walked to the house. Adam followed behind us carrying their suitcases.

“I hope Aunt Micki has room for both of you,” I said off handedly wondering if my daughter would admit that they were sleeping together.

She glanced at me quickly then smiled. She knew. I hadn’t fooled her for a second. “He brought a sleeping bag with him.”

“Oh,” I replied innocently. “That’s good.”

“Yes, he’ll sleep on the floor in my room so he won’t bother anyone.”

Then she was out of my reach and unable to hear the words that I spoke, “Oh no, he won’t. I’m sure your father will have something to say about that young lady.”