I hesitated at that statement. I wasn’t confident at all. Did my own mother even know me?
I’m fifteen, I wanted to say to her. Of course, I needed you, but she was right. Tyson always needed that pat on the back. The words of encouragement that I didn’t seem to project needing but I did. I was quiet. I liked being by myself. I was introverted preferring life inside my books. I was content with myself but still needed them and Tyson.
“I love you too Mom.” That’s all she wanted to hear. She stepped out of my room and closed the door.
I climbed into bed with the dreaded weight of the heavy boot. The white patch on my chin at school tomorrow would stand out like a sore thumb. I wasn’t looking forward to it. Maybe Mom would let me stay home. On the second day of school? I didn’t have much hope that would happen.
I opened my backpack and started doing my homework. I kept staring off into space not focusing at all which wasn’t like me. My thoughts were on the day. Ty and Cal. I didn’t know what to think of him. He might just be teasing me. Playing me? I wasn’t sure.
I wasn’t good with boys. I didn’t have a lot of experience because I was shy. I didn’t know what to say to them. I didn’t know how to flirt.
Focusing on my schoolwork I tried to finish my math. Algebra, not my easiest subject but necessary to get into college one day. I had goals for my future.
When I finished Algebra, I grabbed my history book just as the door opened. I glanced up expecting it to be my dad or mom, but it was Ty who came into my room carryi
ng a plate of food for me.
He stopped by the bed and handed it to me. I glanced up at him then laid my history book beside me so I could take it. Ty stood there for a moment looking uncomfortable. Then he sat on the edge, leaning on his knees. Tyson stared at the floor of my room for a moment then he started to talk.
“It was hard walking in your shadow,” he said. I laughed at Tyson. His head popped up and he glared at me. “It isn’t funny Abigail.”
I shoved him with my foot. “Don’t call me that.”
“Then don’t laugh at me.”
“Then don’t say stupid things,” I informed him.
Tyson ran his fingers through his perfect blonde hair. Then he turned and looked at me. “All my life, I heard from our teachers you can do better Tyson. I know you can do better than B’s and C’s. Just look at what Abby does. You’re just as smart as her.” He was mimicking our teachers, I knew.
“I didn’t know. I am truly sorry Ty.” I knew what he was going through because I had gone through it too only in relation to how well he was doing in sports.
“I know you are, and I know you didn’t do anything, but I don’t want to be your twin anymore.”
Those words slapped me in the face hurting me more than anything he could have said to me.
“Abs don’t you understand I just want to be me? I don’t want to be compared to you anymore. Don’t you feel that way too?” He asked me. His eyes were seeking my acceptance. He wanted me to understand how he felt being my twin.
“You didn’t have to give up on me and treat me like I didn’t exist,” I said. I sat the plate on the nightstand and waited. Ty needed to understand how he had made me feel. We were close until seventh grade. “You turned your back on me. Today, you ran by me several times and pretended like I didn’t exist.” He didn’t say anything, so I slugged him in the arm.
Tyson rubbed the spot where I had hit him. “I couldn’t stop. You were bleeding. I was freaked out.” He got up and walked around the bed and slid in beside me. Then he leaned back against the headboard with his shoulder touching mine. I laid my head against his like I used to do when we were in the seventh grade before it all changed.
My brother took my hand. “Are you going to be mad at me if I don’t talk to you at school?”
I raised my head and looked at Ty. “Why wouldn’t you talk to me at school?” I thought we were making progress. Taking a step forward to become friends again. I think I was mistaken about what Ty was trying to tell me.
“I just want to be Ty and you be Abby,” he explained. “If we keep our distance we won’t be known as the Gardener twins at this school.”
I rolled my eyes at him. “You’re an idiot.”
“You weren’t always compared to me,” he argued.
I threw up my hands. “No, I haven’t but I’ve been ignored since the seventh and eight grade boys football team went to State courtesy of Ty Gardener’s records in passing and running for touchdowns. All I’ve heard about for the last three years is did you see how far Ty threw that ball? Did you see how Ty ran past those defenders for the TD? They couldn’t touch him. You were on the nightly news two years straight,” I snapped, “and that was all Dad could talk about and Mom too.”
“I get it. So, we’re at an impasse.”
“I guess we are, but I think you’re a dumbass. Tyson, I want my friend back. I want my brother back.”
He slipped off the bed and headed to the door. “I finally found me, Abs. I don’t want to be Abby’s twin again. I’m sorry.” He dropped his head at the door, but he didn’t look back at me.