“I’ll keep that in mind when I’m looking at colleges.”
“You’re hopeless,” I said pulling out of his embrace.
“Are you okay, Abs?” He asked.
I glanced at Ty and nodded. I had survived the bullies. There were days when I didn’t think I could or would. He reached out for my arm and I jerked it back. I didn’t want him to see the faint, white lines that were barely visible now. The ones that only he knew about from previous episodes in my life where I had hurt myself to relieve anxiety. To relieve the stress of trying to be practically perfect. Self-imposed of course.
Ty was laid back exce
pt about sports. I was anxious about everything. When the anxiety became too much, I relieved it the only way I knew how. Ty was the only one who caught on, but he never told our parents.
I dropped my head so he wouldn’t see the pain in my face. I didn’t want him to see what him not speaking to me had done to me. The tiny white lines that had healed but scared were now hidden in another place where he wouldn’t see them. I chewed on my lower lip thinking about what I had done.
Tyson grabbed my arm and wouldn’t let me pull it back. I heard him breathe, letting it out in a calm, relieved long way. He thought I wasn’t or hadn’t cut. He couldn’t see my other scars. The ones I kept hidden on the inside of my thighs.
He never told Mom and Dad because I begged him not to. He knew better. He told me I needed help. I did but then he was in the thick of football season. The first season that he took the team to state. Ty was a seventh grader. He didn’t know how to handle his younger sister cutting herself so he trusted me when I said, I wouldn’t do it again.
He laid my arm by my side and took his own journal. “I’m going to shower.”
“See you later,” I replied.
I went to my window seat and plopped down on the plush cushion there with my tablet and logged into TheDystopian.com where I worked on my current story until dinner time.
Chapter 6
Miss Hillard had accomplished what she set out to do which made her happy. She wanted me and Tyson to mend our relationship. On Friday, she saw us sitting together at lunch and a big smile crossed her face. Tyson glanced at me and I shrugged. I knew why if he didn’t because I knew her story.
Cal sat on the other side of me. Occasionally he reached under the table and caressed my thigh through the fabric of my jeans. When I felt his long fingers touching me, without even looking at him, my heart slammed against my ribs. I turned my head to look at him and became mush because his eyes were locked on mine.
Then I could feel Tyson’s eyes watching us and I cleared my throat and looked away from Cal. He leaned in. “Go to the game Friday night,” Cal said.
I frowned at him.
“I want to know you are there. After the game, I’ll take you out.”
“Not going to the bon fire at Mac’s?” Aiden had heard him. “It’s tradition Cal. We always go to the bonfire after a game.”
Cal was still looking at me. “I want to spend time with my girl.”
I was surprised by his declaration of me being his girl. He hadn’t asked me to be his girl. I didn’t know how I felt about it. I was nervous around him.
Aiden got up and walked away, mumbling shit that I couldn’t hear. I guess from the frown on Cal’s face that it wasn’t good. Again, Tyson was looking at me.
“I’ll ask my parents,” I said.
“You do that. I’m not letting you off the hook this time,” Cal said.
**
That conversation proved to be awkward.
My father was home early. I hoped that I could talk to Mom privately. She was the easy one. The parent that let us get away with everything. Dad was the disciplinarian. The strict one.
I noticed that he hovered around the kitchen when I mentioned that Cal asked me to come to the game tonight. I cleared my throat that suddenly felt dry. I glanced at Dad peering in the fridge looking for a snack. Mom looked where I was looking. Then she smiled at me.
“Abby, I need to find a sweater for tonight. Would you come upstairs with me and help me pick something out?” She asked.
I was grateful to her. I hobbled after her up the stairs to her room with Dad glaring at us until we were out of site.