“Ronan,” Grams said. “Sit down.”
I scratched my whisker covered jaw in confusion but I followed her to a chair where I sat down because she told me to. I thought I knew one of the people. He had to be my grandfather Joey because he looked like my Uncle Chance. I could only assume the other two were my great-grandfather Luke and my grandmother Betsy. Grams straightened me out on who they were right away and I was right about their identities.
We sat at a perfectly simple table made of oak wood. With straight backs and hard seats. I don’t think you were supposed to be comfortable when facing your past mistakes and answering to a higher power. “So, Ronan. How’s your Gramps?” She asked.
“He’s having trouble sleeping. The kids keep him in line though,” I told her.
“Good. Tell him I miss him,” she whispered behind her hand.
“I will,” I promised.
She gave me her best stink-eye look. “You’ve fucked up,” Grams informed me.
My eyes were wide and showed surprise at her language. She was Grams after all. A petite woman. A sweet disposition. Hair longer than Mom’s hair. Eyes like mine. A hazel-pale-green that looked amazing against her warm, golden skin. Her mother was half black and half white. Each generation kept some of her features but our skin became lighter and lighter with every combination of mother and father.
Ciaran and Fionn’s kids were lighter than us. Fionn’s daughter Gracie had the silver blonde hair like Grams and Mom but Ciaran’s daughters had the dark hair of my father. They were all beautiful kids though. Knockouts that I wanted to see grow up. I wanted to be there to protect and love them. I wasn’t sure that was going to happen because I was dead at the moment.
I don’t know that I had ever heard Grams use such language so I was a bit taken back by it. Me and my brothers, yeah. Mom on occasion. Dad for sure but not Grams. “I did Grams,” I agreed.
“Your Mom’s heart is going to be broken.”
I nodded my head in agreement. Wait. What? “Am I permanently dead?”
They looked at each other. Then at me. “Possibly,” my grandfather Joey told me.
“Seriously,” I said. “Damn. That’s not good. I’m only twenty-seven.” Betsy made a snorting noise that let me know I should have thought of that before I stuck that needle in my arm. “This is really cool getting to see you guys though.”
“Ronan, you have an opportunity here,” Luke told me. He reminded me of my dad in a way but he looked more like my Uncle Noah. I glanced at my grandmother Betsy. Yeah, Dad had more of her features than Noah did. Noah was the very image of my grandfather Adam and his dad Luke.
“I do?” I finally said still trying to get over the fact that I was speaking to the dead grandparents. An effect of the drug? Maybe I was dreaming? Hallucinating? Or maybe I was really dead and I was talking to the spirits of my dead grandparents. Who the hell knew? I think I was supposed to be focusing on the lesson not the fact that I was actually with them at the moment.
“Yes,” he agreed. “You can turn things around. You haven’t always been nice in your life. You haven’t done good things. The drugs. Women. Everything in your life has been about you. It’s time for a change.”
“Okay,” I replied. I could hear the uncertainty in my voice. I wasn’t really sure what they expected of me. I was also pretty uncomfortable with the knowledge that they might have been watching my life unfold.
Grams slapped her hand down on the table in front of me. “This is it Ro,” she told me. “This is your last chance. You can make things right or you can continue to live your selfish life and the end the next time won’t be so pleasant.”
“All right Grams.” I threw up my hands in surrender. I sure didn’t want to be the one to make Mom cry. Inside I was trembling. I was afraid. I was too young to die. She must have sensed my fears. As a child, Grams had held me. She came to me and put her arms round me and kissed my forehead.
“Go back now Ronan. Re-evaluate your life and do things differently. Stop wasting the life that you’ve been given. It is too precious. There are people who fight desperately to survive while you are throwing your life away.” I nodded against her. “Something important is about to happen to you. Embrace it Ronan. Do the right thing and be the man I know you can be.”
The tunnel was before me again. I didn’t even remember getting up. I glanced over my shoulder. The bright light behind me getting further away. My grandparents disappearing as well.
My body jolted with the shock of the paddles restarting my heart.
**
I stood at the door to the room and watched Ronan’s body jolt with the force o
f the paddles sending currents to his heart. I heard the monitor start to beep. My eyes flew to the screen to see the blip moving across it showing me that his heart was beating once again. Twice, they lost him. Twice they revived him. Refusing to give up on him. Tears burned my eyes. I watched my younger brother die twice. I was struggling right now to hold it together.
“Liam,” a nurse named Sissy, most likely my mother’s age stuck her head through the door and whispered to me. “Your family is in the waiting area. You need to come talk to them.” I nodded but I kept looking at Ronan.
After a few minutes, Doctor Alvarez, Alex glanced up at me. “Liam, he’s stable for now. Go out and talk to your family.”
What do I tell them? I turned and went out to the waiting area. Down the long hall, staring at the plain tile floor I struggled with what I had just witnessed. The bright lights blinding me because tears were glistening in my eyes. Damn Ronan. That jackass. What did he do and why?
My grandfather, my dad, my mom and three brothers waited for me. “Liam, is he all right?” Mom asked me jumping to her feet when she saw me.