Promise Me

I felt tears stinging my eyes. I couldn’t do this. “Ronan,” I said only his name. Ciaran’s eyes got wide. Then they became angry.

“How Skylar?”

“He doesn’t remember it Ciaran,” I explained. “It isn’t his fault.

I knew what kind of shape he was in when I took him home. I should have stopped him.”

“He shouldn’t have touched you to begin with,” he declared.

“Ciaran, if you and Ryan hadn’t gotten together we wouldn’t have James and Annie,” I reminded him. He flushed to the roots of his hair.

“It’s different.”

“How?” I didn’t think so.

My brother-in-law cupped my cheek. “You know it is.” I guess but I didn’t see it that way because my stupid heart thought otherwise. “How pregnant are you?” He asked me.

“I’m pretty pregnant. Four months,” I replied. “I have felt it move.”

He shook his head then looked across the island at Ryan then back at me. “But you didn’t tell anyone for four months?”

“Ciaran, it’s Ronan. I realized right away that he didn’t remember and I was humiliated. How could I tell anyone? Then he almost died and I thought I have to tell him. I just don’t know how.”

“We’ll help you. He has to take responsibility for this like the other bonehead screw ups in his life.”

I looked at him. “I don’t think my baby is a screw up,” I protested with a sadness at his words because I knew then that is how everyone else would look at it too.

Ciaran gazed at me for a moment. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

“This is exactly why I didn’t want to tell anyone,” I sniffed back my tears. “I thought I could just forget about that night when he didn’t remember it.” I glanced between my brother-in-law and my sister. “Then I found out that I was pregnant.”

“Yeah, this baby,” Ryan agreed. “Will he marry her?”

“Ryan, I’m humiliated enough that he doesn’t remember creating this kid with me I don’t really want him to marry me. It’s not the same as with you and Ciaran or Aine and Fionn.”

“Mom and Dad are going to flip the fuck out,” Ciaran said rubbing his hand across his face.

“Yeah, they are and so are my parents.”

Chapter 6

For two weeks now, I had been working with Fionn on the farm. They wouldn’t let me work too hard. Get too hot. Overdue it, fearing I would drop dead. I had not joined any groups for recovering addicts, I could see the disappointment in my friends and family’s faces. I didn’t see myself as an addict. Although, the urge to smoke a little weed was overwhelming at times. It calmed me and right now I was definitely wrapped tight from not sleeping. I didn’t realize how dependent on the pills and weed I had become in order to sleep.

Sunday dinner today was serving as a dual graduation party for Skylar. I don’t think they told her ahead time. I still had money saved from working over the years so I went shopping and bought her a present that I thought she would like. The girl needed a new iPad. Hers had a cracked screen from carrying it around campus with her. I saw it on more than one occasion. We had lunch on campus together a lot while I went to law school and she was finishing her education degree. It was wrapped by Aine and waiting on the gift table. Thank God for Aine because I was a lousy wrapper.

I went downstairs dressed in khaki shorts, flip flops and a cotton t-shirt. Today was pretty casual. I went to the kitchen asked if I could do anything to help. Mom and Dad were already there. Along with Teg and Rhett. Shay and Bobby. Shay pulled me down to her level for a kiss then went back to what she was doing. That was her way of saying I love you kid without words.

The ladies were bustling about the kitchen trying to finish up the last minute preparations. “No,” Mom told me. “Just go outside and get out from underfoot.” She was always saying that when we were kids. Then she shooed me out of the room.

I joined my father, grandfather and Teg O’Halloran at the picnic table. The June day was cool with highs in only the upper seventies which is unusual for Ohio. I hadn’t seen Sky since that day she dropped by the farm to see me. She was making herself scarce from the family dinners. “Skylar is coming isn’t she?” I asked as I sat down.

Teg chuckled. “Yeah she is. She’s been volunteering at the animal shelter and Sundays are a big day for them. That’s why she hasn’t been here. She’s been pretty scarce at the house actually…staying with Ryan and Ciaran a lot.”

“That’s odd,” Dad responded. He looked at Tegan.

“Yeah it is. She has some news for everyone. She just told us this week so I’ll let her tell you when she gets here.”

Dad glanced over at Teg. “Everything all right?”