Promise Me

“You disrespected Skylar. I taught you better than that. Moore men don’t use women and cast them aside but I guess your reputation precedes you. You use them and then you kick them to the curb the next morning without a thought about their feelings. Do you even know their name? Is there a different one every Saturday morning Ronan?”

I knew that wasn’t the case. When he was working hard during school, he didn’t party as much if at all. He was still doing drugs during school. Drugs to stay awake. Drugs to go to sleep. Pot to mellow him. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said to Declan.

“You aren’t impartial,” Delcan snapped at me. “I don’t even feel like I know you Ronan. I keep wondering what kind of man you are and how you became this man? I’ve lost all respect for you Ronan.”

“He’s a good man,” I defended my husband.

I could see him about to burst at the seams. “A good man wouldn’t have gotten so wasted that he didn’t remember sleeping with you and getting you pregnant,” he told me.

“Stop it,” Ronan shouted shoving his father.

Declan’s face turned red with anger. He reached back and clocked Ronan in the jaw. I screamed. Adam, Dominick and Nickolas came running from the kitchen. Ronan staggered back into me. He caught me in his arms to keep me from falling. “Did I hurt you?” He asked, his desperation obvious in his tone.

“No,” I whispered. “Are you hurt?” I caressed his jaw where Declan hit him.

He shook his head. “That’s enough,” Adam roared.

“Pop, my son will not shove me.”

“How hard did you push him Declan until he broke and shoved you? Have you forgotten that you were young once? You made mistakes son. How hard are you going to push Ronan? Until he breaks and falls back on his old habits to get through the day?”

Declan turned on his heel and walked to the door. “I’m not sure now why I even came here.” He walked through the door and slammed it shut behind him.

Ronan turned and looked at the three kids. “Dominick could I talk to you for a minute outside on the porch?”

“Sure Coach,” he replied.

Aine, Gracie and Maddie stood in the doorway to the kitchen. When I looked at them Maddie came to me. I wrapped her in my arms needing to hold her. So much for a nice dinner.

**

I wanted to explain to Dominick about what my father was saying about me. I didn’t want to lose his respect. The one thing that I always remembered Mom saying was honesty was the best policy. So I sat with him on the swing. I was concerned that he wouldn’t understand since his own mother was a junkie.

“Coach, you really don’t owe me any explanations. My mom and I fight all the time.”

I turned my head towards him and I smiled a shaky smile. “I really feel like I do. See right now, I feel like I have your respect if you ever hear what I did you might lose that respect for me unless you hear it from me. At least I hope that is the way it will turn out.”

Dom patted my shoulder. “Go on Coach.”

“I have no excuses. You can see that I’ve grown up in a really good family.”

“I don’t know your dad is sort of an ass.”

I laughed. “He’s really not. He was a good father. A loving one but he’s really disappointed in me right now.” I didn’t know how much to tell him. I decided to keep it brief and simple.

“I have a degree in law. I thought my whole purpose in life was to be successful and make money. I haven’t always been nice to people, especially my brother Fionn. Maybe because I was jealous of him. He was great at football. Had a great girl who loved him a lot.”

“Skylar loves you man,” Dominick said confused by that statement.

I

nodded. I was overwhelmed by her declaration of love for me. “Skylar and I have been friends since birth. I love her too but she and I didn’t get together in a romantic way until recently.” I needed to look at my feelings and figure out what they meant because definitely our feelings had changed. Hers had. Her declaration told me so. I thought mine had too.

“I began taking drugs my senior year in high school. It was cool at first. Just pot. Then in college I tried pills to help me sleep, to wake me up.” I looked over to see how he was taking this. His facial expression was noncommittal at the moment. “Then I graduated to even harder stuff. To make a long story short, I OD several months ago on heroin. The one and only time I tried it. I died twice and was revived both times.” I could feel him withdrawing from me. “I see a drug counselor once a week and attend meetings ever Saturday.”

“Really?”

“Yes,” I replied. “I want to be different Dominick. I want clean up my act and be a better man for my son and for my wife. For the kids on the team like you. Coach Gatlin thought it would be good for me to Coach. I have to agree. It has given me purpose that I desperately needed.”