Promise Me

My brothers, my grandfather, uncle and Coach all piled into the back of the old farm truck. I saw that they were following me. Mom and Skylar were following them.

I turned right out of the lane. I heard Fionn laying on the horn of the truck but I didn’t stop. My phone was ringing but I didn’t answer it. I turned down the road to their house off main street. There were several older homes on this street. All ranches. All the same as when I lived here with my brothers. I could see him in the yard. He was working with his short sleeved shirt and tight jeans. Tennis shoes. He looked anything but a grandfather. He leaned on a rake when he saw me pull into the driveway.

I got out of the truck leaving my door open. My heart was slamming against my chest. I was so pissed off but then so was he. “You’re never going to let it go are you?” I shouted at him. He didn’t answer me.

I walked across the lawn towards my dad. He was a big man. Bigger than me. Probably the same weight but two inches taller. I don’t know what I thought I was going to do. “Answer me goddammit,” I shouted. “I’m tired of you ignoring me.”

“Son, you do not talk to me that way,” was all that he said. My dad’s voice was firm but soft and low. My dad had a deep, intimidating voice. He didn’t have to shout to be heard but I wasn’t backing down to him.

I ran my hands through my hair. So frustrated and at the end of my rope. “My god you are a cocky, unforgiving bastard.” All the years, always trying to please him came rushing forward. He should still be proud of me. I was clean. I thought I could stay clean. I was going to keep going to meetings. I was going to keep working towards being a better man. A good husband to Skylar. A good father to our son but it wasn’t enough for him. He wasn’t going to let it go because he felt that what I had done reflected on him as a father.

That was it. He was more pissed off than me now. The farm truck pulled into the driveway and behind it was my mom and my wife. “Get your ass in your truck and go back to the farm. I stayed home for a reason Ronan.” He shoved me. I took a step back.

“Don’t fucking shove me,” I snapped. I knew that Skylar saw him shove me when I heard her distressed cry for me. He shoved me again.

I did something I didn’t think I would ever do in my lifetime. I coldcocked my dad. His head snapped back with a jerk. He wasn’t expecting me to hit him or he would have blocked me for sure. The shock on his face was worse than the gasp from my mom. I heard her. After his shock left him, he came at me like a bulldozer. Head bent down like a running back heading for the end zone. I went flat on my back and his two hundred thirty-five pounds came crashing down on top of me. I got the wind knocked out me for a second.

We wrestled around a little. I was just as strong as him. Both of us tried for the upper hand with the other one. Neither of us hit each other after I threw that first punch at his face. Then he got me in a head lock and wrapped his legs around my legs. “Stop Ronan,” he gasped. I was still pissed and struggling against him. “I said stop,” Dad shouted. The fight went out of me then but he didn’t let me go. “What the fuck are we doing son?”

I gripped his arm around my neck tight. I could feel tears rolling down my cheeks. I had never hit my dad ever. I’m surprised he hadn’t lost it and hit me back. Noah walked across the lawn. “Let him go Declan.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?” My eyes traveled up to my uncle’s face. He was looking at us both with so much disappointment. Both Dad and I were gasping for air. “He has a death grip on my forearm.” My uncle burst out laughing. I wasn’t sure what was so funny. I released my dad and my uncle extended his hand to me. Gratefully, I took it and he pulled me to my feet straight into his arms. He held me tight like he had when I was just a kid while I cried like a baby.

“Ro, it’s okay.” He patted my back and whispered softly to me. His comfort was so familiar to me that I cried even harder.

I shook my head and my body was shaking. “I hit my dad.” I couldn’t get over the fact that I had struck my father. My heart was broken.

“He’s been acting like a jackass. I would say he deserved it.”

I heard my dad laugh. “Ronan,” Dad said. He pulled me away from Noah and hugged me. “I’m an ass, I know it and I’m sorry.”

“What?” I pulled away from him and wiped my hand across my face.

“What you can’t take an apology from me?”

Mom told Skylar to get in the car they were going back to the farm. I heard the disgust in her tone. I turned and saw the look of concern on Sky’s face. My grandfather was standing near the truck with his arms folded acr

oss his chest. He was angry. I glanced one more time at Mom’s car as Skylar waved to me when Mom pulled away.

Dad pulled my attention back to him. “Ronan, go back to the farm. Enjoy the dinner with your brothers and friends. You haven’t been there in a really long time. I’ll come next week.”

“Why not today?” I asked. I really wanted him to come today.

“Because my son just punched me in the face. I’m going inside to ice it down and I’m going to think about what I’ve done to make this situation worse. I want to be a part of Luke’s life like I am the granddaughters’ lives. So go back and enjoy yourself. I just need a little time to regroup.”

Noah told me to come on. I started to follow him to my truck. Then I turned back to Dad. “I’m sorry Dad for hitting you and talking to you the way that I did.” I was pretty ashamed of myself right now.

My hands were trembling while I waited for a response. He smiled at me. “Ronan, I provoked you. You have nothing to be sorry for. I’ve been taking this whole situation with you personally and I need to look at how it has affected you instead of me.”

“No shit,” Noah told him.

“Now go,” Dad told me rolling his eyes at his brother.

I threw Noah my keys so he could drive my truck. I was too upset to drive. Gramps decided to come with us instead of riding back in the farm truck. I leaned over feeling like I was going to throw up. “I can’t believe I hit him and he didn’t kill me.” I was breathing heavy, in through my nose and out my mouth just trying to calm down. My uncle laughed at me. Gramps was quiet.

“Kind of surprised about that myself.” I leaned back against the seat and Noah glanced at me quickly. “He’s not known for keeping a cool head.”