Chapter 1
Sophie
Feet in the stirrups, staring at the ceiling, Sophie Russack waited for Doctor Ben to finish what he was doing between her legs. She tried not to think about it or she would have had a panic attack. He knew that too, so he had to do everything backwards with Sophie. He started with the pelvic and pap smear and worked his way up to the breast exam. She hated coming to this appointment.
Sophie had shaved her legs last night then again, this morning. Nicked her left ankle and behind her right knee, hurrying too quickly to get the job done. She didn’t want Ben to see any stubble. Ben couldn’t see either of her wounds because she had on socks that she was sure were pretty, stinky because she had worn work boots to the office in case she had to go into the field with Josh, her husband. Hopefully, Doctor Ben didn’t smell her socks. He was close to them, right now. Her knee, he couldn’t see the battle wound because it was in the bend of her leg.
It could have been worse; her entire body could have been stinky. She could have had to go to the field today with Josh. He could have used her, but Sophie had this appointment. She would have been sweaty and stinky and then she would have had to cancel. What a relief that would have been. Sophie, she told herself, as she stared into Tom Selleck’s eyes from his Magnum PI days, you’re being ridiculous.
Ben had a sense of humor. Each exam room had a different poster of a famous actor posted on the ceiling. One room did not for the women who weren’t comfortable with that sort of thing but most of his patients loved it. His wife, Donna picked them out. Sophie was particularly fond of Brad Pitt, Legends of the Fall but that room wasn?
?t ready.
Sophie, girl, you’re forty-one years old, not that the number bothered her. It didn’t. It was just a number. Often, you’re mistaken for being much younger because you try to take care of yourself with exercise and lots of sunscreen but girl you really need to stop being a baby about these things. You’ve had two kids and after that experience nothing is sacred. Why does this appointment still bother you?
She used every excuse in the book to avoid this appointment. Running a business with Josh had consumed them along with raising two children, Heath and Ally. The kids were both gone so they were enjoying life and love. Chasing each other around the house as Josh promised. They had Joshua, their grandson as much as they wanted which was a lot. She loved being a grandma. She was a busy woman but not too busy to make this once a year visit.
Joshua reminded Sophie of Heath. Her oldest, his father. He and Hannah were good parents. She saw her son raising his child using the morals and ideas that he was raised with and it made her proud. It made her feel like maybe she had done something right after all. Granted Joshua was just a toddler, but she could still see it and she liked it.
Ally was in nursing school in Columbus. Things just couldn’t get any better even if both of her best friends had babies now. Their dynamic hadn’t changed as much as she feared it would. The kids just came along when they got together. They still made time for her. She loved their time together even more. Sophie held the babies when she saw them and could return them to their mothers like she did her grandson.
Micki’s twins were two months old now. Kai’s Alexander was eight months old, so she could still get her baby fix and her sleep. The best part was that Sophie had none of the messy stuff to deal with. No poopy diapers and no spit up. Her fears were now put to bed that she and Josh would have nothing in common any more now that the kids were gone. Sophie was content with her life.
She and Josh had just celebrated twenty-three years of marriage. Sophie would be the first to say that Josh was a saint for putting up with her. She was mouthy and difficult at times but if anyone needed anything, Sophie Russack was the first person there to pitch in and get it done. She had a big heart.
She was also late for this annual check-up, not that she was worried about it. Her yearly exams were always fine. Josh finally nagged her enough that she had made the appointment to see Doctor Ben.
He didn’t like it when she was this overdue but of course, Josh didn’t do his annual exams either and she reminded him of that. His argument was he was a man, so it was different. She guessed prostate cancer didn’t scare him like cervical cancer did.
She wasn’t that late, not really. The appointment should have been ten months ago. She was too busy like today. Her phone was buzzing like a vibrator in her pocket, but Sophie Russack didn’t own a vibrator. She wasn’t a prude, but she liked her intimacy with Josh not a toy.
The love between Sophie and Josh was just as strong as when she started dating him when they were just teenagers. The intensity of the passion had cooled over the years, but they still made time for intimacy which included simple things like cuddling on the sofa and watching old movies because it was important to them and their marriage. They were committed to not becoming a statistic like some in their high school classmates who married young. They worked at their marriage, no matter how hard it was because they were important to each other.
She and Josh graduated from Cooper High School in Ohio, a small town where everyone knew each other. Some left and some didn’t but they both liked the small town feel of knowing your neighbor and being able to walk down the street and say hello to a familiar face.
They loved raising their children here where values were important, and crime was minimal. They didn’t have to worry about the children riding their bicycles or playing in the yard. They liked their small town of Cooper.
Josh owned a landscaping business and had done well for himself and their family. Their business afforded them the opportunity for Sophie to be at home when the kids were out of school. She found activities to keep her busy schedule even busier when she wasn’t working with Josh. She had the Women’s Club and volunteering at the nursing home or the hospital. Her children volunteered too. They wanted their kids to be well-rounded and humble.
She and Josh were proud of Heath and Hannah, Kai her best friend’s daughter and Heath’s wife. How they worked together raising their baby, creating a loving home for their new family.
Sophie had a good life. Two beautiful healthy kids, a grandson she adored. Josh. A lovely home that she and Josh had worked hard to get. She had the best friends in Micki and Kai. Friends she had known for a lifetime.
What could be wrong? She finally broke down and made the appointment and here she was feet in the stirrups starting to get panicky. She would rather go to the dentist and have a root canal than be going to the gynecologist, and that’s why she always postponed it, but never this long though. Six months max, was probably the longest she had gone without her annual check-up.
Sophie tried breathing to stave the oncoming panic. She didn’t know why she was so bothered by this. Doctor Ben Hillard had been her doctor since she was eighteen and discovered she was pregnant with Heath. Her mother had taken her to him. He was young then too, just starting out. They had both aged in the twenty-two years since he had delivered Heath.
She stared at Tom Selleck, breathing in and out. Everyone had seen her vagina from nurses, doctors, residents and surgical techs during the birth of her children, but she still hated this. Dr. Ben understood Sophie.
“Almost done, Sophie. Hang in there.”
Hanging in, she thought but didn’t say anything.
He wasn’t much taller than Sophie and a little overweight but who after forty didn’t need to lose a few pounds? He was dark haired with silver beginning to touch his temples giving him a distinguished appearance. He was a nice, looking guy.
He pushed his glasses up on his nose with his wrist after he finished her pelvic exam. The pap smear was done and being sent off. He informed her that she would hear from his office if they found anything. She already knew that though. This wasn’t her first rodeo in the stirrups.
Dr. Ben rolled backwards on his stool and stood. He walked to her side and opened her gown. “Sophie, breathe,” he told her, his tone was soft and consoling, while he began the breast exam. “Do you do monthly exams?” He asked frowning at her.
“When I think of it,” she replied her eyes avoiding his. Dr. Ben’s fingers were cold and rough probably because he washed his hands so much.
Nothing is ever wrong. She was healthy as a horse.