Sophie’s lip trembled. She turned her head away from Josh, so he wouldn’t see her cry. Neither of them, spoke to each other for a while. Then he leaned back in his chair and laid his hand on Sophie’s leg. She looked at his wide hand, good for palming a football. She almost choked on her laughter and her tears. He had the longest fingers. Their high school coach loved his hands but then so did she.
“You aren’t the only one hurting, Soph. I know this affects you and only you from the perspective of what you’re going to go through to get well but it affects me, Heath, Ally, Kai and Micki too. We have emotions that we’re dealing with. Try to remember that.”
She turned her head to him with tears in her eyes. Their gazes locked on each other. “We’re here to support you, babe. Just remember that is all we want to do, so let us do it including Ally. She feels helpless so far away from you.”
Sophie sniffed. “I was afraid she would come home.”
Josh laced her fingers through his. He stared at their hands for a moment. Then they heard her name being called. They rose out of their seats together and headed for the door where Doctor Robert’s nurse, Madge waited on them.
“I won’t lie to you, Soph. I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t come home,” he said seconds before she reached the door.
She whirled on him and glared at Josh. “Not now, Sophie.”
“We’ll talk about it later,” she informed him.
He could only nod at her.
“Sophie, sorry for the delay.”
She was led down a carpeted hallway. Cool, calming colors on the walls. Pictures of flowers and beach scenes hung at different intervals. She shook her head. Right now, nothing was calming her butt down. This was difficult at best. Nerve wracking. She felt like her head was going to explode.
Madge opened the office door and let Sophie step inside in front of her. Then Josh followed his wife inside. “Thanks,” he told her.
“Doctor Roberts will be right in.”
The door had no sooner closed when the doctor entered. That was the only reason Sophie didn’t start on Josh about keeping Ally in college. She sighed in frustration.
“I’m sorry it took longer to get you in for an appointment then you still had to wait on me.”
“That sigh wasn’t directed at you,” Sophie informed her.
Doctor Roberts sat behind her desk and opened Sophie’s file. She read through it quickly then crossed her hands in front of her.
She discussed the type of cancer that Sophie had. ER Positive / PR Positive. She explained that her cancer fed off estrogen and progesterone. It wasn’t aggressive which was good news for her. Sophie turned her head and gazed at Josh when the air left him in a rush. He was relieved. She still had cancer, she wasn’t so relieved.
“The good, news is that you’re only at late Stage II, but it’s been working on you for a while, so it’s also spread to the lymph node beneath your left arm but nowhere else,” Doctor Roberts informed her.
Josh reached across the space that separated them and took Sophie’s hand. She knew what he was thinking. He was scared. Even Stage II sounded scary to Sophie, so the fact that it had spread was terrifying. She knew that it frightened him too.
“My plan is we do six months of chemo, starting next week if I can get a port surgically inserted. I already have Madge working on scheduling that for you.”
Sophie nodded while she licked her dry lips.
“Chemo every two weeks at first. Then we’ll discuss radiation and or surgery.”
“So, I might lose my breast?”
“I recommend we wait and see where we are after chemo is completed then we’ll have you talk to our surgeon. Right now, we can most likely do a lumpectomy with radiation, but some patients chose mastectomy and no radiation.”
She glanced at Josh. They hadn’t discussed any of this. “I just want it gone so whatever that takes…” her eyes met Josh’s and she could see that he agreed, and it made her feel stronger about what she was about to say, “I want to do whatever it takes even if it means losing my breast.”
Doctor Roberts leaned forward on her desk. “Sophie, you focus on the first step of your treatment, chemo while I worry about everything else. Okay?”
She rolled her eyes at her doctor. “That’s easier said than done.” Sophie was sitting on the edge of her seat.
“I know,” Doctor Roberts agreed.
She urged Sophie to keep positive. The more positive she could be, the better the results she would have from her treatment. Doctor Roberts had seen it for herself, she told them.