“You’re still smiling. There must be hope.”
Deandra grinned. “I’m alive. This is my second bout with this dang disease and I’m not about to let it get me this time either. I have too much to live for.”
Sophie chewed on her lower lip while she frowned. Second bout? She couldn’t imagine going through this again. “I don’t know what to say.” She couldn’t believe she had said that aloud to Deandra.
“Nothing to say, sweetie.” Deandra gazed at Sophie. “It’s okay. Mine is Metastic. Not curable. They will maintain it through chemo and radiation, so I can live as long as I can live and keep it from spreading.”
She smiled at Sophie again. A smile that reached her big eyes. Deandra’s smile was contagious. It filled Sophie with a sense of peace and contentment that she didn’t understand. How could she be so positive after going through this twice? How could she sound so positive like she was talking about a trip to the shopping mall?
“How do you do this?” Sophie asked.
“Faith. I don’t ask why. I just thank him that I’m still here and not in the ground.” Deandra was blunt about her answer. “My daughter graduates from college in one year. She’s dating a nice young man. I’ve heard rumors there will be a marriage after she graduates. He’s a little older than her so he’s just waiting for her to be done. I have goals,” Deandra informed Sophie.
“Goals?”
Deandra nodded. “I want to see Clair graduate from the University of Cincinnati. She’s going to be a teacher. That’s my first goal. I’ll do whatever I have to do to see that happen.” Sophie noted the fierceness in her tone. The determination. “Then my second goal is to dance with her Daddy at her wedding.”
Sophie reached out to Deandra and took her hand. “Those are good goals. How long were you, cancer free?”
The other woman, snorted. “I’m going to give you a bad attitude, girlie.”
Sophie squeezed her hand again. “No. You’ve made me feel better about today than I have been feeling. If you can do this twice. I can surely make it through this once.”
“I did nothing. It’s in here,” she tapped her heart. “Here,” Deandra tapped her head. “You just have to have to pull from that part of yourself that you didn’t know you had and you get it done.”
“How did you feel when they told you the cancer had returned?” Sophie asked.
Deandra nodded her head and thought for a moment. “Like an elephant was sitting on my chest. I couldn’t breathe.”
“That’s how I felt when they told me. I couldn’t breathe either. I couldn’t stop crying for a while too. My legs wouldn’t keep still, I was so nervous. Terrified.”
“It doesn’t get any better. You’re going to be afraid for the next three years while you wait to see if you remain cancer free but Sophie, do yourself a favor…”
“What’s that?” She asked gazing at Deandra.
“Live girl. Live for the moment and live life to the fullest. Don’t let cancer rule your life. It will happen, or it won’t. So, try your hardest to put it out of your mind and just enjoy your life.”
After Deandra’s declaration, they showed each other their children on their phones deciding after those first few moments of cancer talk that the rest of the time would be nothing but positive conversation.
Madge checked on them both making sure they were doing okay. Vitals had to be checked throughout the ordeal of their treatment.
“Sophie, your head is starting to hurt already, isn’t it?” Sophie nodded at Madge. “I’ll make notes for Doctor Roberts. Chemo seems to cause you severe migraines almost as soon as it starts.”
“Dang, that’s bad,” Deandra said to her.
Sophie wasn’t feeling the greatest, but she still wanted to talk to Deandra. She told her about Joshua her grandson and showed him pictures. Josh and Deandra’s husband Will returned. Sophie liked him as much as she liked Deandra. They were good people, from a small town like them, leading simple lives until cancer changed everything.
Will gave Josh a new perspective on cancer just like Deandra had Sophie. He was a little quiet. He sat next to her holding her hand. She rubbed her thumb across his rough palm.
“Head hurting?” He noticed her forehead scrunched in pain.
“Pounding like a jackhammer in my skull.”
Deandra was almost done with her chemo treatment. “I’ll send you some bible readings and some inspirational stuff if that will help you, Sophie,” she offered.
She turned slightly towards her. Deandra wore a knit, flowered cap. Her hair was already gone. Her face was made up with make-up, just slightly nothing drastic because she didn’t need it. She was beautiful with big brown eyes and fully pouty lips. She smiled at Sophie. Her smile never seemed to fade no matter what.
“I would like that.”