Luna sighed. “But you did Luka. You have to understand that you did.”
He nodded. It killed him that he had hurt her so badly. When he saw Ava and she called Skylar, Momma he felt his heart drop into his stomach. He just wanted to see her up close. See how old she was. Who she belonged to but he knew. Walking up those porch steps before he even touched her; Luka knew that Ava was his child. His heart had been pounding in his chest so loud it was the only sound he heard in his ears.
Then he had cupped her face in his hands. He should have seen the recognition on her face. The light that was showing in her eyes because he was finally home.
Her eyes so much like his. He had wanted to scoop her up and hold her in his arms but he didn’t. He didn’t hold her until he lifted her off the back of his truck.
She was tiny for ten. He knew this without knowing much about kids. She was built like Skylar. Compact. Skinny arms and legs. Her long, dark hair with a wave to it. Something that had always driven Skylar crazy. He laid his head against the screen door and watched his mother’s taillights disappear into the dark of night.
“Daddy, is everything okay?” He turned to find Ava sitting on the top step.
“Everything is fine baby girl,” he whispered to her.
“Where’s Momma?”
She looked so innocent in her light blue pajama shorts and her tee shirt with a big rainbow heart on the front. Her hair messed from sleeping.
“Momma’s not feeling well. I’m going to stay with you two in case you need anything.”
Her eyes lit up. “Thanks Daddy.”
“Want me to come up and tuck you back in?” He asked.
She was too old to be tucked in. She had all but told him that earlier when he had gone upstairs with her but he had missed all those years when he could have put her to bed so he had gone up anyway and tucked his baby girl into bed. He would do so until she was twenty-five if he wanted to.
After tucking Ava in Luka sat and talked with her for a while until her eyes began to close. Then he kissed her forehead and turned off her lamp on the bedside table and went downstairs to talk with his mother.
Listening to stories about Ava for a few hours; looking at the pictures that Skylar had in a photo album then he went outside to be alone. To process everything that he had learned and saw in the pictures.
She was alone and pregnant; only sixteen. He had left her crushing her heart. He kept wondering what if? What if he had come home for her parents’ funeral? Would she have forgiven him then?
What if he had just waited for her to turn eighteen? That thought had crossed his mind too before he left. That was only two years but he had felt like he was suffocating. She had known some of his feelings. There wasn’t much Luka didn’t share with Skylar. Had that made the difference in her decision to not tell him about Ava?
He kept thinking about his brother’s statement this afternoon. In his mind, he could see her arriving at his mother’s house. Looking for him. He was supposed to be at school at four. He had never shown up.
He could almost see her crumpling to the porch in a heap. Sobbing. Her secret weighing her down. Afraid. What was she going to do? He had left her. He was pissed at himself all over again. He had
left her. He never should have done that.
He was back now and he was going to break down her walls so she would let him back in. He didn’t care what it took. Luka watched Ava stand and turn she headed back up the few steps that she had come down.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” she told him.
“Goodnight Ava. I love you baby girl.” And he did love her already. In a few short hours that he had known her his heart was filled with love for this child he and Skylar created.
She giggled. “I’ve loved you longer Daddy.” Then she disappeared around the corner and he heard the soft click of her bedroom door.
Luka hadn’t heard anything out of Skylar in a while so he walked down the hall to the bathroom where she had gone. He knocked and she didn’t respond so he shoved open the door.
Skylar was lying face down on the tile. Her phone in her hand and her jacket thrown over the tub. Her ripped dress hanging open exposing her beautiful ass and her hot pink thong. Luka groaned. “Hey Skylar, you alive?” He nudged her bare foot with his booted toe.
“No,” she grumbled not moving off the floor. “Just leave me be Luka.”
“How much did you drink?”
“Five beers,” she mumbled.
“Lightweight.” He laughed at her.