Only Her

“There hasn’t been a day in the last ten years I haven’t thought of you. It would be pretty hard not to since I look at Ava and I see your face in her.”

He chuckled. “She does look like me,” he agreed.

“Luka, I knew something was wrong that night you left. If you remember I asked you if you were okay. You said you were. I’ll see you tomorrow babe, you said. You walked away from me without looking back. You lied to me Luka.”

Skylar closed her eyes. Luka rested his chin on her arm; listening to her. “I remember watching you, nothing like you are now. A lanky, kid walking away from me. That is the image I’ve carried of you in my head for ten years,” she told him. “You kept your back to me…careful not to look at me. That is what I have always remembered about that night Luka. I stood at the door until your truck was gone. I kept thinking how strange? Luka usually waves to me when he drives away.”

“I couldn’t look at you baby. I wouldn’t have left you,” he told her.

Skylar was nodding her head as if she understood. “Why didn’t you take me with you?” She asked.

“I wanted to,” he replied. “You were only sixteen. Underage, I couldn’t just take you with me. Your parents would have had the law on my ass. I had no way to support you either.”

“Why didn’t you come back for me when you started making money?” She asked. “Let me ask you this…when did you actually start making money?”

“Twenty-two, I was doing okay. I worked odd jobs between matches and trained until then.”

“So at twenty-two you were doing okay, I was nineteen and legal and Ava was only a toddler, just a baby really.”

He took her hand in his and pressed her palm to his lips. “I had been told how devastated you were when I left. I didn’t know if you would want me. I was young and stupid.”

“But you came home now for me? Or at least that is what you said.”

She wasn’t going to make this easy on him. He couldn’t blame Skylar. “Sky, I’m not happy without you. I retired from fighting. I stopped running from what I did. I knew where I wanted to be so I came home for you.”

She was shaking her head back and forth. “You’ll forgive me if I have a hard time believing in you.”

That stung…a lot. He said the only thing that he could. “You’ll have to give me time to prove myself to you then.”

There was wetness glistening at the corners of Skylar’s eyes. “You didn’t come the next day. I couldn’t figure out what had happened to you. I went over to your mom’s house.” She stopped talking for a moment; trying to collect herself. “Luka, Dalton and Benji were there with Luna. I asked where you were. You were supposed to pick me up after school. I walked home instead because Brett was still at practice,” she explained. “I asked your mom, where is he? I knew something was wrong. I could feel it in my gut.”

“I know,” he said. “You don’t have to do this.”

“No Luka. I do. You need to hear from me what you did to me,” Skylar told him. “I heard what L

una said. The shock hit me like a bucket of cold ice to my veins. My body felt numb. I just couldn’t believe it. The air in my lungs felt trapped like somebody was sitting on my chest. Then everything went black. I fainted. Dalton, fourteen years old, skinnier than me for sure, carried me inside.” She turned her head away from Luka.

“I died inside Luka. When I came to on Luna’s couch I asked Luna to repeat what she said. She was holding my hand and caressing my face, telling me everything would be all right but I knew it wouldn’t. I knew I would never be okay again.”

“I’m sorry,” Luka said. “More than you will ever know.”

“I couldn’t get out of bed for a week I was so depressed. I couldn’t figure out what had happened. What had changed your feelings for me?”

“Nothing baby,” Luka promised. “Nothing had changed my feelings for you. I loved you the day I left you as much as I do now.”

Skylar pressed her fingers to her eyes. She shook her head back and forth. “Luka, do you understand why I have trouble believing you? You walked away from me and stayed away for ten years.”

“I do understand.” He squeezed her hand in his.

She sighed. “I don’t think you do Luka. I love being with you. Having you make love to me again. I let all my defenses down but I am terrified of you. I wouldn’t survive you breaking my heart again.”

Luka was holding her hand against his cheek now. He just wanted to hold onto her and never let her go. He cleared his throat feeling the emotion choking him. “I will never hurt you again Skylar.”

“How can I be sure Luka?”

He didn’t know how to convince her. Only time would prove that he would be there for her this time. He couldn’t tell her how many times he almost came back home when one of his brothers told him how heartbroken she was without him.

How it shredded his guts because he had caused her that pain. Luka was fooling himself when he said he thought she would be all right with Brett to take care of her. Standing, Luka leaned over the bed and pressed his lips to Skylar’s. “I love you Skylar,” he whispered against her lips. “I always will. Just give me a chance to prove it.”