Ben (The Sherwood)

Jenny sat down beside me and handed me a cup of coffee. Her tea cup was in front of her, the string to her tea bag was dangling over the edge of the cup. She picked it up and dipped the bag a couple of times and then sipped from her cup. She was perfect for my brother. I realized watching her what she and Elijah had that Matt and Layla were missing.

Jenny embraced our entire family down to the last Hatfield brother. She always had. She sat her cup down and I reached across the table and grabbed her hand, I lifted her palm to my lips and pressed a kiss to her smooth skin then I leaned on my knees and clutched her hand in mine.

“Ben, what’s wrong?” She asked.

“I’m exhausted,” I choked on the words, filling like an idiot for almost crying at telling her this.

She chuckled. “Join the club of new parents with tiny human beings who are wrecking our sleep, but Asia is usually a good sleeper. What’s going on?”

I shook my head and released her hand, so I could wipe my face. I leaned back in my chair and sipped on my coffee. The thick black mud she always made was just like Elijah and I liked it. She was a gem. My brother was one lucky man.

“Thank you for ignoring me when I was being an ass,” I told her.

She laughed. Her deep, melodic laughter filled the kitchen and made me smile. “You mean when you told him in front of me that you couldn’t believe he fell for me?”

I nodded and wiped across my face again. She slapped my thigh. “It’s okay Ben. I know you were going through a rough time.”

“I was scared.”

“Ben,” I glanced up at her, “I imagine you were. Jasmine had lied to you about her age. Suddenly your entire life was being turned upside down by her and the thought that you were going to be a father with a woman you didn’t know well. Elijah and I were getting together. You wanted him to be there for you.”

I nodded. “He was too.” I didn’t tell Jenny that there were so many more lies that Jasmine had told. She didn’t need to be disillusioned about Jasmine as I was.

“He was, Ben. He loves you guys so much. He wouldn’t walk away from any of you no matter what is going on with us.”

She was right about that. My brothers and I were close to each other and our sister. We were a tight knit group. “I love you, Jenny,” I told her, and I meant it. She was one of a kind.

“I love you, too, Benjamin.” She caressed my cheek and I almost fell into her arms sobbing.

“She lied to me,” I said so softly that I wasn’t sure she heard me. “Lied about so much more than you know.”

“Ben,” she consoled me but didn’t ask for an explanation for which I was grateful. Her voice was filled with compassion. I felt so stupid for falling for Jasmine’s lies.

“How do I trust a woman again?”

Jenny pushed me back and took my hand and held it in hers. “Ben when the right woman comes along, it will be easy to trust her. You’ll know.” I think the right one had been staring me in the face for years and I screwed it up by sleeping with her cousin.

I squeezed her hand. “That’s easy for you to say. You’ve been with Elijah your entire life.”

“Not always. I had to wait on him to come around. I had to date a few others to get him to realize it should be us, together.”

“Two peas in a pod,” I repeated Mom’s phrase for them.

She laughed. “Now about Asia. Are you picking her up as soon as she cries?” She asked me.

I glanced at her unsure of what she was asking. Jenny laughed at the blank look on my face. “Ben, move Asia’s crib out of your room.”

I cut her off. “What about SIDS?” I asked terrified that something would happen to my daughter in the night and I wouldn’t hear her or know that she needed me.

Jenny got up and went to the laundry room. She returned with an unopened box which she handed to me. “What is this?” I turned the box over and over in my hand.

“A baby monitor,” she informed me. “Put this in Asia’s room and the other piece goes in your room. Put Asia’s crib in Elijah’s old room. She is the best baby at self-soothing. Quit worrying so much. You cannot anticipate every, single thing that will go wrong with your child but Ben nothing bad is going to happen. Stop worrying about what you can’t control.”

“Wait, what does self-soothing mean?” I asked unsure of what most of the baby jargon I heard meant. I usually looked it up later.

Jen chuckled at me. She forgot that I was a newbie at parenting. I didn’t know the catch-phrases or parenting jargon. I hadn’t read any new father books like Elijah had although at times that was a detriment to my anxious brother. He worried more.

“That means quit acting like Elijah and that she might whimper and cry for a moment. If after a few minutes she’s not stopped then get up and get her. Then Asia needs something. Otherwise, she will feed at eleven and not wake up again until three or three-thirty. Then you won’t have to feed her again until you need to leave for work if you get her back on schedule.”