Ben (The Sherwood)

I got that. She was nineteen. Looking at things with a clear head, she was more naïve and younger than twenty-five. I should have realized this. Somehow, I felt that she was all right. That young woman was scrappy. She had a way of taking care of herself.

“I’m sure she’s fine,” I declared. The hint of harshness was unexpected.

“You’re angry at her,” Disa stated.

“I have a right to be, don’t you think?”

She nodded. “I do. I get it but try to understand that she was missing something in her life, Ben. Male attention from her father. She was always chasing after something because her self-esteem was low. She wanted you, I think sometimes because she knew once you were mine.”

I stopped and stared at Disa, pizza halfway to my mouth. It sounded so heart wrenching when she said, once you were mine. I was hers too. I had foolishly allowed my father to interfere.

“I’m sorry. I should have said something when I knew she was interested in you,” Disa said and I turned to gaze at her while she spoke. “Maybe I could have prevented this from happening to you, but I was hurt. I wasn’t exactly thinking clearly.”

“Not your fault,” I patted her thigh. “My mother would be the first to tell you that it’s my responsibility to protect myself no matter what Jasmine told me.”

She chuckled. “Rachel is vocal about her opinions.”

“That is putting it mildly.” I rolled my eyes to the ceiling.

Asia began to fuss a little. I got up to get a bottle for her. I returned to the living room to find Disa gently rocking back and forth. She was singing to her.

I stopped and watched just at the edge of my living room. She hadn’t noticed me because she was staring at my daughter’s face, so Disa continued to sing while I continued to watch her.

Then she caught sight of me and she stopped suddenly. Her cheeks pinked, and she lowered her eyes. She was embarrassed. “You sing beautifully,” I informed her. “You didn’t have to stop.”

“I used to do it all the time in church,” she explained.

“But not anymore?” I asked.

“Nope, I sit with your Mom and Danni. Sometimes, Jenny and Elijah come too.” I didn’t know that. “This songbird is silent now.”

“Why?”

“Brings back painful memories,” she replied.

“You could be making new, happy memories now,” I suggested.

“Maybe.” Asia was wiggling and starting to fuss. I took the bottle to Disa.

“Want me to feed her so you can eat?” I asked.

“You go ahead,” she replied. “Finish your dinner.”

I sat down and watched this amazing woman I had known my entire life feeling like I didn’t know her at all. I had kissed her, held her, hell I had made out with her but never too much. I knew she had been at both my parent’s house and my granddad’s house too.

“How did you manage to come home with Danni?” I asked.

She laughed. “Snuck around with Danni,” she replied. “Told my family I had to stay after school and work on a project with a classmate or the teacher. That was the only thing they were dumb about. School. It was very important to them, so I could get away with a lot by using it as an excuse to escape the compound.”

I nodded as I shoveled more pizza into my mouth. When I had swallowed and could speak, I teased her, “Sneaky.”

“I loved Danni. She was like me. Quiet. Not really wanting to be noticed. Just trying to get by and get through.”

That was my sister.

“Jackson broke her heart.” She looked at me. Then she surprised me by saying the next thing. “She hid away from the pain at the cabin, where none of us could touch her except Walker, not even you Ben and she was close to you.”

“She was.” I was ready to kick Jackson’s ass for hurting Danni so badly.