Ben (The Sherwood)

soft and gentle. I realized something about my brother. In the last year, he had changed. His exuberance was gone. His light that made him Matt was gone too. Layla had darkened his soul and had given him an edge that hadn’t existed before. I didn’t like Layla much right now.

“How are you?” I asked him. “Honestly?”

“I’m happy for you,” he declared. “What I saw and heard at brunch yesterday sounds like you’re one lucky man.”

He was referring to Disa. “I’m lucky she’ll give me a chance after sleeping with her cousin.”

Matt nodded. “You have this, though. How could you not be happy about this,” he declared rocking back and forth with my daughter. “Justin is my world now, Ben.”

“Matt, it doesn’t have to be that way, you know.”

He snorted at me. “What do you expect, Ben?”

I tried telling him I understood but I could tell from the look on his face that I didn’t really. None of us did. Matt had been with Layla forever.

“Do you want her back?” I asked.

“Hell no, but I’ll be damned if I can forget her either.” He shook his head sadly and I was sad for him.

“I’m sorry.” I didn’t have the right words to say to Matt.

Matt leaned against the kitchen counter. He pressed his lips to my daughter’s temple. “Man, I just don’t get what happened. I’m lost, Ben. Truly lost.”

He was handling his pain differently than I had. I jumped from woman to woman trying to ease my pain at walking away from Disa while he hid out in the woods with AJ and Heath. Not a healthy combination, I might add. Heath was messed up by the war and AJ was just angry. He always had been.

“Are you doing okay with her?” Matt asked me.

I laughed. “Better than I expected. Seth has been a huge help.”

He rolled his eyes at me. “I’m sorry that I kicked him out at Layla’s urging. He wasn’t being that bad. I think I hurt his feelings, but we were rocky already. I didn’t want to do anything else to push her away from me.”

I didn’t want Matt to be worrying about Seth right now. I brushed it off. Seth was fine with me and Elijah. He shook his head at me. “I still feel terrible about it.”

“You could always start over. Find a nice woman. Have a few more kids…”

“Stop.” He glared at me. “I’m thirty-six years old, Benjamin. I’ve been with one woman my entire life. I’m not about to go out and hit the clubs now to find another woman and kids? I’m too old. I’ll be forty in four years. I’m happy with Justin. My boy is all I need.”

He could keep saying that to me, but I knew that Matt was lonely. I dropped it though. “Crops looking good this year?” I asked.

“The best I’ve had. That is one area that keeps getting better and better.” He laid Asia back in his arms and gazed at her. “She’s beautiful, Ben. You did good.”

I snorted at him. “I didn’t really have any control with how she came out, but she is gorgeous though. I’ll agree with you on that one.”

He ran his hand over her hair. Most people thought she was older because of that head of hair she had. “Man, the hair. You’re going to have to learn to braid and do ponytails,” he teased me.

I just rolled my eyes at him. I had a few years for that.

I spent the rest of the afternoon talking with Matt. I had a purpose for coming here. The attorney lectures I was getting from Mom. Rachel had me on pins and needles about what to do about Asia. Without Granddad, Matt seemed the next best choice to ask for advice.

He sat down beside me at the kitchen table. I was holding Asia now. Matt ran his hand over Asia’s hair then he looked at me. “I would seek an attorney’s advice Ben. You don’t have to do anything you aren’t comfortable with, but Jasmine could return and take her from you then you would need to go to court. So, it might make sense to have full legal and physical custody of her then if she does come back and wants to see her, you can establish a visiting schedule with her.”

I glanced at my brother. “Is that what you will do with Layla if she comes back?” I asked him.

“I’m praying she keeps her ass in Florida,” he ground out between his clenched teeth. So, he knew where she was, and he knew who she was with. “Is she married already, Ben?” He asked.

“I haven’t heard,” I replied. I just knew that they had taken off for Florida with the intention of getting married on the beach.

He slapped his palm down on the hard, wooden surface then got up from the table. I cooed at my daughter who was startled by my brother’s outburst. Matt went to the kitchen sink. He gripped the edge like he was holding on for dear life. His knuckles turning white. “Ben, how could she do this to me?”