Marriage For One

I cleared my throat so I would be able to sound serious and normal like him. “Can you have what?”

“The last lemon bar.”

That had me looking over my shoulder and…what a bad, bad idea. Our eyes met and I kinda got stuck on his steady and expectant ocean blues. Then I looked at his lips because they were right there, so full. In my defense, I was looking so I could catch his next words, but they didn’t come.

“Hmm? Oh? You liked it then?” I forced my eyes back to his and extended the tongs toward him. He took it. “Would you like a plate?” He met my eyes again and just shook his head. I faced forward. What is happening? “I didn’t think they would almost completely disappear by the end of the day, even though they were free.”

“They are good enough to come back for every day, Rose.” Before I could process those words and at the same time try not to analyze them to bits too much, he continued, “Will you bake more tomorrow?”

“I can make you a batch at the apartment, if you want,” I offered as I started to just push things around randomly, hoping to keep the conversation going.

“I don’t mind coming here.”

Finally, I turned to face him, leaning my hip against the counter. If I just leaned a little forward, I could fall into him, so easily.

“Just for the flowers you brought this morning, you earned free lemon bars for an entire week.”

He bit into his treat, already halfway done with it, and nodded.

Forcing myself to look away from him because I had no idea what was wrong with me that suddenly I was having trouble just looking away, I started to put everything in the fridge.

I came back for the last container. “We can leave in a minute.”

My right hand was gripping the edge of the island when his fingertip touched my ring finger. I froze.

“You’re finally wearing your ring,” he murmured, and my eyes closed on their own.

Is he getting closer?

I focused on my breathing as he picked up my hand and played with the ring, moving it right to left, right to left, just as he had done on our wedding day. I might have swayed, I might have bit my lip, I might have shivered. I have no recollection of what I did, but I knew I was teetering on the edge of something.

“I put it on after you left,” I whispered, my hand still in his. Then he gently put it down on the island again.

“Good.”

I forced my eyes open but didn’t look up at him. I was still feeling the ghost of his touch on my skin.

“Ready to leave?”

I nodded. “Mhmm.” I put the last container away and quietly got ready, my eyes safely away from him.

However, it didn’t escape my notice that my movements were getting more sluggish by the minute. The adrenaline was leaving my body, and pretty quickly, too.

As I took one last look at the coffee shop before I locked it down for the night, I felt immense pleasure knowing I’d get to come back the next day and do it all over again.

Thinking about Jack and the business deal between us, I went down the other road, too, the ex-fiancé road: Joshua Landon. I was a little surprised with myself that I wasn’t thinking of him more. We’d had good days. In the beginning. He had swept me off my feet. He’d been perfect; said everything I didn’t even know I needed him to say, acted as if I was his world and slowly won me over when I wasn’t interested in something serious. After I’d said yes to his proposal things had started to change. He had started to change. If we’d married, if he hadn’t disappeared on me after breaking the engagement over a stupid text, would I have had this? Would he have dropped by every day after work to help me? I didn’t think so. I’d been with Joshua for a whole year and I couldn’t remember a time he’d gone out of his way to help me with something—unless, that is, he wanted something in return. I hadn’t needed his help; I didn’t even remember ever asking for his help. That wasn’t the issue, though. I hadn’t needed Jack’s help either. I hadn’t asked for his help, yet he’d been there anyway, day after day.

For the first time, I didn’t say a word in the car, didn’t try to engage Jack in small talk as Raymond drove us back to the apartment. He ordered Chinese and I went up to take a quick shower before it was delivered. When the doorbell rang, I was coming down the stairs. By the time he paid and closed the door, I was standing next to him. I took one of the bags and we headed toward the kitchen.