Marriage For One

“Don’t lie to me, Jack. You didn’t love me. You weren’t even nice to me in the beginning. I’m not someone who believes you can fall in love with someone without knowing them. Don’t feed me bullshit.”

I brushed her bangs out of her eyes. “Will you shut up? I wasn’t in love when we first got married or even the first time I saw you. I’m not saying it was love. It was just interest, maybe a crush, but the more I got to know you, the more I couldn’t not fall for you. If I hadn’t known you had bought all the equipment to open your place, that you had spent your money, if there had been no contract, I’d have still paid Joshua to protect you from him, but after that, I’d have approached you like a normal guy. I’d have gotten to know you, asked you out, nothing more.”

“Why were you so mean to me? You barely spoke, and don’t think I forgot what you said to me after the wedding. You told me it was a mistake, I was a mistake and said we shouldn’t have done it.”

I smiled, but there was no humor in it. “That was my guilt. I didn’t know what to do with you, and I knew in the end, when you learned about what I did, it was going to kill whatever chance we had or didn’t have for good. I didn’t know how to get over it. Trust me, it was an unexpected reaction. If anything was going to happen it had to come from you. I wasn’t going to let you accuse me of forcing love even though I’d manufactured the marriage part. So, I decided to just let it be and let you have the coffee shop while maintaining a healthy distance. I didn’t want to help you set the place up. I didn’t want to be around you so much. I even considered telling you everything. That was why I kept asking you to go out to dinner with me, but I couldn’t do it. I was gonna wait for the right time. Then you got sick and I didn’t care what would happen, whether you knew what I’d done or not. I didn’t give a fuck about the guilt, and you were warming up to me, so…”

“You love me now,” she whispered.

I cupped her head and rested my forehead against hers. “You are the love of my goddamn life,” I whispered back, my voice raw and hoarse. “Somewhere in between all the pretending, I completely fell for you, and I can’t even think of my life without you in it.”

She cupped my cheeks in return. “You want to divorce me, Jack.”

I pressed my body against hers until I heard a little gasp and her back was resting against the counter. “Yes. I want to so I can start fresh and show you that I can be what you need. I want to start over, do it right this time, ask you out like a normal person.”

She seemed to think it over as I held my breath and waited. “I don’t want to. I don’t want to start over. I don’t want to divorce you. I want to keep going.”

“Okay. Then we won’t.”

“But you have to promise me, Jack. You have to promise me that you’ll never keep anything from me. I need to trust you. It doesn’t matter how much I love you, I can’t do this if I don’t trust you. You have to give me all the information and let me make the decision when it’s something that concerns me.”

“I promise you. I promise you I’ll do everything to earn your trust again.”

“Then we won’t get a divorce.” She cracked a small smile. “You think I’m beautiful.”

I smiled back. “The most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

“You’re a lucky man, then.”

“I’m the luckiest bastard.”

She nodded enthusiastically. “That you definitely are. There is nothing else I need to know, right? I want us to be okay, but there are no more surprises, right?”

“Have you read the divorce papers?”

Her stubborn little chin went up again. “No. I tore them up.”

My smile in place, I shook my head. “I gave the coffee shop to you. You were going to get it in the divorce. I never wanted it anyway.”

Her body stilled, her hands dropping from my face.

“Is it too late to change my mind about divorcing you?”

“I’m afraid so.”

She sighed. “Oh well. I’ll keep you, you keep the coffee shop—I think it’s a pretty good deal.”

“I’d have to agree.”

We stared into each other’s eyes. “What now?” she whispered.

“It’s Monday, so I need to cook you pasta. We have traditions.”

I got a small smile. “I do love couple traditions. That was the deal.”

“Your heart always has a home with me, Rose. No matter what, never forget that.”