The Hardest Fall

Jared sighed and shook his head. “And Mark?”

“Yeah, there’s him, too,” I mumbled without looking either of them in the eye as I busied myself with finishing my coffee.

“And when are you gonna get shot of him, Zoe? I’d be lying if I said I’m exactly clear on what you’re expecting to happen here, but I can tell you it’s not gonna happen—I know that much. You need to get out of his apartment, too. He is treating you like a paid slut, only calling you when he wants to and only meeting you at that apartment or all the way across town in a random restaurant, never anywhere public.”

“Hey, take it down a notch, would you?” Kayla snarled at Jared as I swallowed my coffee down the wrong pipe. “That was a little harsh, don’t you think?”

“Geez,” I coughed out when I could breathe again, taking the half-full water bottle and napkins Kayla offered me. “Thanks for making it sound creepy. He is not as bad as you’re making him sound, and it’s not like we can walk around campus together, at least not yet. I wanted to move out, remember?” I wasn’t blaming Kayla for flaking on me in any way, but I was blaming Keith for being a needy bastard.

While my plan for my third year had been to move out of Mark’s apartment and move in with Kayla, it hadn’t exactly gone the way I wanted it to. We’d found the apartment and were days away from signing the lease when Keith had a fit about her moving in with me.

If she was moving out of the dorms, why wasn’t she moving in with him? Why would two college girls wanna live together? Was she seeing someone else? It went on and on and on and on. Kayla would’ve never gone back on her word, but when I saw the toll it was taking on her, how scathing Keith’s words were, I told her it wouldn’t be a problem if she chose to move in with Keith instead of me. As long as she was happy, I’d be fine, though after the whole deal, I wasn’t sure how anyone could be happy with Keith. But, that wasn’t for me to say, at least not then.

Jared’s home was close to campus, only a fifteen-minute walk, so he didn’t need a new place or a closer one to rent. Considering he needed to be home to help his single mom raise his five-year-old half-sister, he couldn’t afford to move out anyway. These little facts prevented me from moving in with either of my best friends. Unlike Kayla, who had enjoyed her two-year stint in the dorms, I hadn’t enjoyed dorm life all that much, so back to Mark’s apartment I’d gone. I’d thought maybe things would change, thought we’d get closer and he’d keep his promises for a change.

“I’m really sorry, Zoe,” Kayla said, breaking into my thoughts. “I was looking forw—”

I reached out and rested my hand on her arm. “Don’t apologize, please. You have nothing to apologize for anyway. I didn’t mean it to sound that way. I’ve been saving money, yes, but I can’t afford to move out on my own yet. I still need to save money for New York too, as lame as that sounds, and you know I went back because he kept promising me it would be different this year. If things don’t change and I can manage to stash away the amount I need, I’m getting out of there around April or May. Also…you know what I want from him, Jared. Don’t be like that.”

“That’s the time you’re giving him? Almost another full year?” Shaking his head, Jared reached out and covered my hand with his long, thin fingers, his features hard. “Look, I know this hurts you, but he’ll never tell them about you, Zoe, not his wife, and definitely not his son. He is a pig. You deserve better than that.”

But Mark had promised, and I wanted nothing more than to believe him.

When I didn’t say what I knew he was waiting to hear, what he wanted to hear, he sighed and drew his hand back. “If I can get that part-time job at that gallery next year, I’ll move in with you. You will get out of there, right?”

I gave him a silent nod.

“It’ll be great.”

“Even though I couldn’t leave the love of my life to come live with you guys, I’ll come visit so much that it’ll feel like I’m living there.”

She’d come only if Keith let her, but she wouldn’t say that. She’d been with Keith since she was sixteen and still loved him enough to believe he could and would change. I could see an intervention happening in our future.

I felt a little sick, both in my stomach and in my heart, as I did every time Mark was the subject of our conversation. Jared’s statements were not news to me, but unfortunately, that didn’t help lessen the pain. I managed to force a genuine smile on my face. “Thanks, guys.”