The Hardest Fall

I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t stay away anymore.

My fingers tightened around hers to the point that I knew I must’ve been hurting her, yet we still stood like that for several seconds.

Lifting my head, making sure our temples stayed in contact, I started to explain what she had walked in on before she ran away.

“I came home just a few minutes before you and she was waiting at the door. I told her to leave, but she kept insisting she wanted to talk to me.”

Zoe’s body stiffened against mine. Having no clue what I was allowed to do, how much I could cross the invisible line that existed between us, I leaned harder against the wall to restrain myself from doing something stupid and limited myself to stroking just over that small dip where her thumb and first finger met.

“Before I could make her leave, I heard Ms. Hilda unlock her door so I had to let her come in. When you got there, she’d only been there for a few minutes.”

“Who is she?” she whispered, her head tilted to the side, eyes half closed, her breathing uneven.

I huffed and nuzzled her temple.

“Victoria, my ex. I had nothing to say to her, I swear, and when you came in, she asked if I wanted her to leave at the same time you did. I didn’t even think, just said yes. I didn’t think you’d misunderstand. I didn’t think you’d leave.”

There was no reaction for long seconds, but she wasn’t walking away either.

“I was going to take you out for pizza before my shift at Jimmy’s,” I muttered into her ear when the shouts coming from the room rose up and blended with the music.

Her head tilted farther, offering me more as the back of her head dropped to my shoulder.

Fuck.

She muttered something, but I couldn’t hear it, so I leaned down until her mouth was right next to my ear.

“I love pizza,” she repeated, and I had to close my eyes because her lips had brushed against my skin, nearly rendering me incapacitated.

“I know you do—you only say it every day.” I smiled in relief and pressed a lingering kiss on her cheek that surprised the both of us.

Slowly she lifted her head from my shoulder. Reluctantly, I let her hands go and our arms dropped down. I had no idea what the hell I was doing, and I was afraid I was too far gone to stop myself when it came to anything involving Zoe.

Clearing my throat, I continued, and this time I tried to talk louder so I wouldn’t have to speak directly into her ear. The closer we stood, the more dangerous it was. “I ran after you, but you were already gone, and I didn’t want to leave Victoria in the apartment. I sent her away less than a minute later then came after you.”

Turning around to face me, she looked up, straight into my eyes. “How did you know I was going to be here?”

“I called Chris and got the phone number of the guy who dated Kayla’s friend back when I met her. Then a couple more calls and I got Kayla’s number. She didn’t tell you?” She bit her bottom lip and shook her head. Unable to stop myself, I reached up and cupped her cheek, saving her lip by pulling at it with my thumb. “I didn’t know where you were, so I had to wait an hour before coming here.”

“I went for pizza,” she said with a hesitant smile on her lips.

Letting go of her cheek, I dropped my head back on the wall and laughed, relaxing a bit.

“Of course you did,” I said when I could look at her again.

She lifted her shoulder and gave me a half shrug. “Food makes me happy, pizza especially.”

When neither of us uttered a word, just keeping our eyes on each other, my smile slowly disappeared and I straightened from the wall.

At the same time, the music stopped and there were only shouts and boos.

“Zoe…”

She was quick to look away and gave me her back.

“I don’t think Kayla is okay. Something’s wrong, and I should get back to—”

I grabbed her hand from behind since it had kept her from leaving the last time.

I couldn’t let her go, not just yet. That little pocket of space was ours, providing shelter for us, for what I’d been craving for weeks, and I wasn’t ready or willing to let it go so quickly or easily. “Ten minutes,” I said. “Just ten more minutes to feel like this.”

When I gave her hand a gentle tug, she didn’t argue or pull away. In two steps she was back in my arms and I was hugging her to my chest even harder. She didn’t seem to mind and I didn’t plan on letting go, not for at least another ten minutes.