The Hardest Fall

But, they always say nothing in life worth having comes easy, and Dylan Reed sure wasn’t going to make it easy on me.

It was the last day of finals and I was a bundle of nerves as I stood next to the black Challenger. The last time I’d checked the time on my phone, it’d said eight PM, and I refused to check it again since I knew only a minute or two had passed since then.

I was pacing the length of the car when I saw him coming. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, my heart going a mile a minute, and I was only seconds away from puking my guts out—not the first impression I wanted to make at all. I cleared my throat in preparation and cracked my knuckles.

This is it.

It was the moment I’d waited years for, and all I seemed to be capable of feeling was horror.

Christopher Wilson slowed his walk when he spotted me and stopped next to his car to give me a quick once-over. I couldn’t see his eyes because of the hat he had on, but I was pretty sure he wasn’t happy about finding me waiting around for him.

After giving me a long look, he just shook his head, opened his car door, and chucked his backpack inside. I stood frozen, waiting for him to say the first words so I’d know how to proceed, but he didn’t do that. He got into his car and was about to slam the door closed when I unfroze and grabbed it.

“I need to talk to you,” I said, my heart still thumping wildly in my chest.

He looked up at me, and then I saw his eyes—my mother’s eyes. “I don’t think I’m the one you should be talking to.” He pointedly looked at my hand, which was holding his door open. “Now, if you’d step away, I’d like to leave.”

His car was parked just outside campus. I’d done a little stalking and it had taken me a few days to find out where he usually parked it; there was no way I was going through all that again. This was the day I was going to tell him everything. No more delays.

I had no idea what Dylan had told Chris, but it seemed like he knew enough to be upset.

“No,” I said, finding my voice.

“Excuse me?”

“This has nothing to do with Dylan. I want to talk to you.”

“I swear to God, if this is you coming on to me right—”

“No,” I burst out. “God, no. Just ten minutes—I need to talk to you for ten minutes, that’s it. I promise I won’t bother you again, but I’m not gonna go away until you talk to me.”

It was true; I was not planning on bothering him after I said everything I needed to say. If he didn’t want anything to do with me, that was just fine. I wasn’t going to force him to have a relationship with me, but I was done waiting for the truth to be known.

After a half-hearted invitation, I got in the passenger seat and suffered through a painfully quiet car ride to a diner a few minutes away from campus. I assumed he didn’t want anyone to see us together, and when he’d told me to say whatever I needed to say, I’d flat out refused to do it in a car.

I sat in the booth and waited for him to settle across from me.

He took his hat off and placed it on the table, messing with his hair. “I’m listening.”

I licked my lips and leaned forward. My hands were shaking in my lap under the table, but I thought I looked pretty zen on the outside, at least I hoped so. “This is not gonna sound good, but I’m gonna try to—”

“Hello, I’m Moira. What can I get you kids?”

I closed my eyes, willing my heart to slow down and not make a mess of everything.

“I’ll have a coffee, please,” Chris said.

Moira’s smiling face turned to me, and the warm smile shifted into a frown. “You feeling all right, honey?”

I managed a nod and had to clear my throat before I spoke. “Can I have some water, please?”

“Of course. I’ll be right back with those. Let me know if you need anything else.”

When Moira walked away, I looked at Chris again. He was watching me, eyes judging.

After years of waiting, I should’ve been ready for the talk, but there was still a big part of me that was afraid of rejection, and then there was the rest of me that was done with the whole thing.

I reached into my bag and took out the envelope. Squaring my shoulders, I placed it on the table and smoothed it with my hands.

“Here you go. Coffee for you, and water for you.” Moira placed a big mug in front of Chris and a gigantic glass of ice water in front of me. “You let me know if I can get you some tea with honey, okay? And maybe a slice of pie to go with it? It works wonders for me when I’m feeling off.”