“About?”
Truthfully. “You. Me. Us. The Surgery. Life.”
“That’s a lot.”
“Yes, and it’s complicated.”
“Hopefully, I’m the easy part.” Vaughan’s grin could almost be heard.
“Actually you’re the most complex. I want to understand you… but.” Duke tried unsuccessfully to say what he meant. But anytime he was faced with Vaughan, he couldn’t understand what the man wanted with him? Duke was much older, set in his ways, needy and under-loved, starved for affection and on top of all that… he was laid up. What the hell was Vaughan thinking?
“But… you still don’t get why I want you, huh?”
“I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be cynical here.”
“Well, you’re not doing a very good job. You’re amazing, Duke. I’ve watched you for years.”
Duke snorted. Amazing? How?
“You said I could have a chance. You said – when you thought you were dying – that you would’ve given me a chance. But now that you’re gonna live—”
“Might live.”
“Gonna live,” Vaughan said sternly. “Are you rethinking this… us?”
“Vaughan.”
“For the love god, Duke. I’m doing every—” Vaughan stopped midsentence.
“Doing what?” Duke prompted when Vaughan paused. “What are you doing?”
“Praying every minute that you haven’t changed your mind.” Vaughan’s voice had gone to that sweet, low timbre that Duke loved. That he couldn’t refuse.
“I haven’t.” Baby. How can I? “I’ll give you as much time as you need.” Just don’t hurt me, Vaughan.
“That’s what I needed to hear.” Vaughan laughed before sobering quickly. “Sweetheart, I’m gonna come by and see you pretty early and then I have a flight to catch at nine. My job is sending me on assignment already. Can you believe that?”
Duke frowned. Vaughan sounded weird. Unsure. Assignment. “Where are you going?”
“Um. Miami. They want me to go with the lead attorney to interview a witness that left the jurisdiction. It shouldn’t take more than a few days, and then I’ll be right back by your side. I promise. My dad said he’d keep me posted, since I’m sure you’ll be concentrating on recovering.”
“Of course. I’m glad your job is entrusting you with so much responsibility already.” Duke’s gut twisted. He wanted to see Vaughan’s face before and after his surgery, but he guessed that wasn’t going to be possible. The man had to work, right? But wasn’t this more important? He had to stop this. This needy shit. That’s what ran Judge off. Vaughan couldn’t hold his hand every minute. Duke was scared, though. He’d admit it to himself, if no one else.
“Yeah. I was pretty shocked. Anyway. Don’t worry about that. It’s late. Focus on getting as much rest as you can and I’ll be there bright and early to give you a kiss before you go in for surgery.”
“That sounds like something to look forward to.” Duke smiled, trying hard to sound convincing.
“Night, handsome.”
“Goodnight, Vaughan.”
Vaughan pressed the end button, cradling the phone to his chest. His eyes burned with tears. He hated lying, detested it. His father always told him that a real man doesn’t have to lie, cheat, or steal. Vaughan may not be a thief or a cheat but he was definitely a liar. Would Duke ever trust him once he found out the truth? He turned back to his small duffle bag and silently prayed that Duke would. It was the right thing to do. He could feel it. If Duke had any inclination that it was him, he had no doubt he’d cancel the surgery. Vaughan wouldn’t take that risk. He’d lie and break any other commandment on the list if it meant giving them a chance. He finished packing by dropping his leather toiletry bag on top of his change of clothes, along with his transplant folders.
He had to be checked in to the unit at six a.m. That meant he’d have to go to Duke’s room at 0’dark thirty and then go to his own room so he could be prepped on time. He was going to have to juggle quite a bit over the next couple weeks, but he could do. He would do it.
“You all packed and ready?”
“Yes, sir,” he answered his father. Quick’s face was a mask of uncertainty and worry. “I told you. I’m going to be fine, Dad. Have faith. This is not as complex as you may think.”
Quick waved one large hand at him. “I know. I read up on it, son. I just… well, you know. I’m a parent before I’m anything. I’m gonna worry.”
Vaughan took a deep breath and went over to face him. “Thank you for trusting me.”
“You’ve never given me a reason not to, Vaughan. I just hope you know what you’re doing.”
“I’ve never been so sure of anything before.” Vaughan hugged his dad for a long time. “I love him. I love him too much not to try.”
“I just hope you don’t get hurt in all this.”
“I won’t. I promise.”