“Yessss,” Duke hissed. Vaughan reached down and gripped both of their cocks together. His movements still calculated and slow. He was running this right now. If they were gonna indulge, then he was damn sure going to make it safe… but also, so very worth it.
“There’s so much I want to do to you, Duke. Oh, my god.” Vaughan pushed his lips against Duke’s temple and held them there, pressing and mumbling his sentiments. Trying to figure out what word in the English language described what he was feeling for Duke. “I watched you when I was younger. Watched you until I just couldn’t anymore, and I told my dad that I wanted to study abroad.”
“You were just out of grad school when you went to Europe,” Duke said through a whisper that revealed his shock. “That was almost six years.”
“Yep.” Vaughan ran his fingertips down Duke’s cheeks, tucking his chin between his two fingers and tilting him up to look him in the eye. He needed to Duke to know how serious he was about him long before the man needed a life-saving kidney. “In my twenties—early twenties, actually—I’d convinced myself that I was ready to approach you. That you’d finally see me as a man. I’d just finished my master’s; I felt so grown up and mature. There were men and women in grad school that still fucked around and did stupid shit. Anytime I thought about things getting tough, and wanting to stop, I thought of you.” Vaughan kissed Duke again, keeping it chaste so he could continue speaking. “But when I came back home to North Carolina, I went straight to your office. And I saw you there. It was late. So late that I should’ve called first. Or texted you. Anything that would’ve saved me from seeing what I did.”
Duke lifted his head and shifted slightly. “Vaughan. What? What did you see?”
Vaughan’s caress was gentle and affectionate on Duke’s hair, but the next second, Vaughan’s fingers curled tightly around the long, silky strands of silver on the top of Duke’s head. Anytime he thought of that image it made him see dark things. Made him feel like he could actually be mean. Vaughan clenched his teeth together and thrust his solid erection deep between Duke’s thighs. It sought out what it wanted, craved… to claim.
Duke’s breath caught and he moaned seductively when Vaughan pressed hard into him. “What did you see, Vaughan? Tell me.”
Vaughan slid down lower, so he could lock eyes with his lover. Duke’s eyes were a smoldering, rich chocolate brown, but the outer rims simmered with a lighter shade of brown, almost like gold, when Duke was excited… aroused. Leaning in, he took Duke’s mouth in a punishing kiss, loving the way Duke gasped and panted into his mouth, straining for oxygen. But Vaughan held him pinned beneath him until he was ready to let him have air. “Let me fix it,” Duke pleaded when Vaughan let him breathe.
“You can’t fix that.” Vaughan licked down the back of Duke’s ear, into the nape of his neck. With his firm grip still on Duke’s hair he turned him to the side so he could have access to his neck. “I saw him with his hands on you.”
“Jesus,” Duke groaned. “How long ago was that?”
“Not near long enough.” Vaughan bit the side of Duke’s neck, hard enough to show he wasn’t kidding. The mere thought still drove him insane. Enough that he couldn’t stay and watch Duke pine for someone else. Especially a bastard as big and intimidating as Judge.
Duke hissed and tried to pry away from Vaughan’s assault. “Fuckin’ brat,” Duke growled back at him. “Just fuck me already. Then only that image will be in your head from now on.”
Vaughan licked at the puffy red welt he’d left on Duke’s throat. He burrowed his way back up to Duke’s mouth and kissed him gently, whispering to him. “I need to forget it. I need inside of you.” He looked down at their joined abdomens, reaching between them to lightly trace their similarities. “No matter what happens to us in the long run. I’m always there.” Vaughan pointed at the long incision along Duke’s pelvic bone.
Duke didn’t have much left to say. It twisted his stomach to know that Vaughan had come to him before and Duke was with someone else. Damn, that had to have hurt something wicked. He couldn’t imagine watching the person you love be intimate with someone else. He wished he could take all that away for Vaughan, but he wouldn’t know where to start. He didn’t regret his time with Judge. He was there when no one else was filling the void in his bed. But that’s all Judge filled. He never even came close to touching Duke’s heart, much less filling it.