Getting Real (Getting Some 3)

“I’m so glad.”

“Garrett and Dean are with him. He’s got surgery tomorrow afternoon so I’m going back in the morning, but . . . I wanted to see you tonight.”

She gives me a smile, but there’s something off about it. Something . . . sad. It doesn’t light up her eyes.

Even when Violet was pissed at me all those months ago, there was a spark to her—bright and blinding. Now she seems . . . dimmed. Down. And I wonder if she’s as exhausted as I am.

We walk into her living room and she moves to the kitchen.

“Do you want something to eat?”

“No.”

“Do you want something to drink?” She opens the refrigerator door. “I have your beer.”

I take her hand, turning her toward me.

“I’m fine, Violet. I just . . . I just want to be here with you. Talk to you.”

Something flashes across her face that I don’t understand. And she stares at the center of my chest.

“You came here to talk to me about something?”

“Well . . . yeah.”

She folds her lips together tightly.

“I see.”

I think about what Aaron said, how I haven’t been a very good boyfriend. It’s true—I’ve been consumed with my son’s situation, with myself. And I know Violet understands that . . . but I wonder if I’ve missed something.

Something going on with her.

I cup her cheek.

“Are you all right?”

“Yeah.” She nods. “Sure.”

“Is Darren okay? Your sisters?”

“Everybody’s good.”

And then she moves into my arms, hugging me, holding onto me—pressing her face into the hollow of my neck. It’s like she forgot what I feel like . . . and she desperately needs to remember.

When she pulls back she says, “I was just going to take a shower.”

A hot shower with her sounds like heaven right now.

“Do you mind if I join you?”

It shouldn’t be a big deal—Violet and I have taken dozens of showers together—but for a moment she stiffens.

“Okay.”

“Are you sure?” I ask . . . because she doesn’t look sure. “I can stay—”

“It’s fine, Connor. Really.”

She picks up my hand and kisses my knuckles gently. Then she leads me to the bathroom and turns on the shower full blast, filling the room with steam. We’re silent as we slip out of our clothes—she hangs her robe on the hook on the door, her smooth, beautiful back beckoning to me.

And it’s not even sexual. I mean, I’m hard, obviously, but it’s so much more than just that. Deeper. Needier.

I want to drown in the feel of her skin, surround myself in her scent and her sounds, sink into the sensation of her body pressed snug and vital against mine.

I don’t even need to be inside her. Just being close to her is enough.

But there’s a tension in Violet’s shoulders, an anxiousness radiating from her that makes me hesitate. That tells me something is wrong. With her.

With us.

She releases her hair from its bun and steps into the shower first, the brown, wavy tendrils turning black beneath the stream. I follow her in, the scorching water hitting my shoulders and running down my back. She turns away from me, reaching for the shampoo and not meeting my eyes, like she’s holding back—hiding.

My voice goes soft and coaxing.

“Hey, Vi?”

“Yes?”

“I know I’m missing something here. Something big. Can you tell me what I’m missing? Please?”

She licks the droplets of water from her upper lip, and her words come out slow, like they’re being dragged out.

“I didn’t want to bring this up now, I know you’re dealing with a lot—”

“You can tell me anything. Anything at all, I promise.”

And now she looks like she’s about to cry, and whatever’s twisting her up inside—I just want to make it better.

She takes a deep breath.

“Okay, I’m just going to ask and whatever your answer is . . . I need you to be honest with me, no matter what.”

“Of course.”

“Do you . . . do you have feelings for Stacey again?”

The shock of her question knocks me on my figurative ass.

“What?”

“I heard you and her talking in Aaron’s hospital room. I heard her promise that things are going to be different between you from now on. And then you told me to go home and sent your parents to stay with the boys. Are you . . . ”

Her dark eyes rise to mine—cracking my heart in two. Because she really believes that that’s possible.

“ . . . are you two reconciling?”

“No. God, no. I mean, she’s finally got her head on straight about the kids and I’m happy about that. It’s important that they have a good relationship with their mother. And she and I aren’t going to be at each other’s throats anymore; we talked it out and we both agreed. But that’s it, Violet, I swear. I haven’t had feelings for Stacey in a long time, and that hasn’t changed. At all.”