When Brian had finally come to he’d been wrapped in Sway’s arms while he hummed a soothing melody in his ear, between words of encouragement. He told him he was there for him and he wasn’t leaving him and Brian wished he could believe him. They always left, sooner or later. Usually Brian could hold off showing them his crazy to at least get a couple of dates in. Only he wanted more than just two dates with Sway.
Brian clenched his teeth and balled his fist. Of all the times, why now? Why’d they always pick the most inopportune times to show up? Then he remembered Colton’s words. ‘Is there ever a good time for a flashback to show up?’
Brian didn’t think there was when he’d asked the question but now his answer had changed. Yes, there was a good time… anytime he wasn’t with Sway.
His head felt as if he’d hit it on something but there wasn’t a knot there, only pounding. He’d broken the glass that’d been removed from the garage door when he fell. Glad it had only been trash. Other than that, he didn’t see any damage. Only to his ego.
After the flashback had receded, it’d taken him a minute to stand, Sway trying his best to help him, but Brian had at least seventy pounds more weight than Sway, so it only made him feel that much more pathetic to see Sway stumbling and straining to hold him steady. One thing was certain, Sway had refused to let him fall. He’d asked repeatedly if Brian wanted him to call someone for him, but Brian didn’t want Sway to do any more than he already had. He’d done enough. He knew he was just trying to pawn him off on somebody else. Brian and his baggage were another burden that Sway didn’t need in his already complicated life. He was going to be alone. He should just try to accept it and get used to it.
When the water finally started to chill, he realized he’d been in there almost an hour. Sway said he’d be there when he came out, but he knew it was a lie. The man had the face and heart of an angel, but he wasn’t a real saint. This was just too much for Brian to ask of anyone. He’d probably find Ford in his den or Dana with solemn looks on their faces as they tried to come up with a valid reason why Sway had to suddenly leave.
I hope he took his cheesecake.
Brian didn’t want to come out and see his foiled plans waiting in his kitchen. The cake thawing on the counter. One plate and two forks sitting on a bamboo tray with small coffee cups. He’d gotten a secret tip that Sway loved expensive coffee that he could never afford to buy, so Brian had splurged and got a bag of Harry David Tiramisu flavored coffee to serve with the cake. He’d meant to wake Sway with dessert in bed, but things rarely went as he planned. Which was to care for Sway so much that he craved it, depended on it. Until he needed Brian’s touch as much as Brian needed his. However, Brian had shown his needs way too soon and scared him off.
Brian tied the towel around his waist then braced both hands on the sink. He was about to clear the fog off the mirror, but he didn’t want to see himself. Instead, he stood there with his chin resting on his chest as if he was thinking, only he was really listening. Listening for any sign of life in his house. Any sign that Sway was still there. That his soft humming and strong arms were out there waiting for him.
Silence. He heard nothing. No voices, like always.
He wondered if Sway even closed the front door when he high-tailed it out of there. Brian had dated—well, texted and messaged—a man for about a month before he finally agreed to come over to his place. Brian hadn’t even done half of the renovations he had now, but he was still proud of what he’d built. He’d wanted to show it off. He should’ve heeded his brother’s warning that he was trying to move into a relationship too fast, but he’d waved him off. Brian had been so anxious to get everything perfect and to give the guy a good time that he’d blown it. One sketchy trigger had Brian curled up on the floor in the hallway in the middle of their date; locked in the past, screaming in his head for peace. When he’d woken up, his date had gone, having left so fast he hadn’t even bothered to close the front door. When Brian had tried to message him the next day to apologize and maybe ask for a redo… the guy had already blocked Brian’s number.