With newfound determination Ruxs went to his room and pulled out a good pair of jeans and a button up collar shirt. Maybe she’ll have dinner with me. He took a freezing cold shower since his hot water heater wasn’t working and quickly dressed. He tucked his badge and cuffs in his leather coat and left his depressing apartment to wait on the curb for his cab. I really need to get another truck. Ruxs wrecked his truck chasing a suspect about six months ago, but since he usually rode with Green, he didn’t stress about getting a new one. But he had a feeling that was going to change soon. It was the first week of November. It was after eight, dark and slightly chilly. The temperature was already starting to decline in the evening hours. He wasn’t going to want to wait outside for rides much longer.
He had the driver drop him by the shopping center up the street from his mom’s place. He bought two large bouquets of flowers, one for the grave and one for his mom. He huffed and picked up a carton of cigarettes too. He needed to come with something to make her slightly pleased by his visit. He was smiling from ear to ear when the cab pulled up to his mom’s small duplex. He felt good about this. He’d gotten through to her before. Actually several times. She’d gone to rehab, and even though she’d relapsed, she’d gone. This time was going to be different, he convinced himself. Everyone else had their families and partners to share their lives with. He refused to be left with no one. He’d work on repairing his relationship with his mom. That would be his mission for now. Not home pining over his straight partner and his new girlfriend.
Ruxs tucked the cigarette box under his arm and went to open the door. He paused, changing his mind and knocked instead.
“Who is it?” his mom yelled. “I’m busy.”
“Momma, it’s me. Can I come in?” Ruxs yelled back.
“Armin, what do you want? I’m watching TV.”
What the hell? Ruxs ignored her and opened the door. He stepped inside the foggy room, closed and locked the door behind him. “Hey momma. I brought you something.” He smiled despite the frown she had on her face.
“Armin. I said I’m busy.” She tucked her legs under her and turned back towards the TV, ignoring him.
He walked through the small living room space, kicking the recliner closed so he could sit next to her on the couch.
“Mom. I really wish you’d call me Mark.”
She scowled at him. “I’ll call what I named you.”
“You named me after a man that left you as soon as he found out you were pregnant. I’ve never even seen him. I go by Granddad’s name. I go by Mark Ruxsberg.”
“I will call you whatever I goddamn please, if I want to call you assh —”
He waved his hand in the air cutting her off. “Okay, okay. Never mind. Forget the name. That’s not why I came over.” He picked up the flowers and held them in front of her. “Look what I brought you. Aren’t they pretty? Roses are still your favorite, aren’t they?”
She didn’t smile at him but at least she dropped the frown. “Thanks,” she mumbled.
“You’re welcome. Here, I brought you these too.” He held out the carton of cigarettes. She quickly snatched them up and put them on the table beside her.
“I’ll just put these in some water for you.” Ruxs ignored her groan of annoyance and got up to get the one vase he knew was under the kitchen sink from the last time he’d brought her flowers. He vaguely looked around the small space as he carefully placed the flowers inside the thin glass container, filling it halfway with water. He smiled wide when he placed them on the table in front of her.
“Do you like them?” he asked.
“You can’t stay. I’m busy,” she said, not looking at the flowers or him, her bloodshot eyes focused on the television instead.
“Well, actually I have no plans tonight. Thought I’d come and take my favorite girl to dinner.” He gently placed his hand on her knee over her faded pink robe. “Maybe take a walk in the park. Hmmm. That sound nice? You love Atlanta in the fall.”
She turned to him and the harsh look of disdain she wore made him close his eyes. He couldn’t look. He loathed that fucking look. Why the hell does she hate me so much? With his eyes still closed he kept talking. “Come on, mom. You gotta meet me half way here. It’s just me and you now. We’re family. We’re all we’ve got. I’ve been here for you the whole time. No matter what you’ve done and said to me, it’s in the past. I forgive you. But I really need you to be here for me, now. I-I’m going through some things and I could sure use my family right now. I remember —”