He grabbed his fish scaler and got to work. Rosemary trout with a cherry tomato sauce would be delicious and easy.
“As much as it terrifies me to give this to you, I’m going to do it anyway, because you deserve to know about it. If you tell me to hit the road, then I know I deserve that, too. Here goes.” Michaels heard Judge inhale a deep breath before he began to speak again. “I had a partner many years ago. His name was Brent Reynolds. We met when we were enlisted men. It was only months before we fell in love. We were in the same battalion, both trackers. It was him that thought of us running our own bounty hunter business.” Judge sighed again but Michaels stayed focused on his food, listening intently, and waiting for Judge to continue. Brent was obviously a sensitive subject for him to discuss. “He was an amazing man. Smart, sharp as a tack, but way too trusting. After we retired from active duty, we started the business and we were a damn good team. I hadn’t worked with anyone that good until… until… you. Which also terrified me.” Judge cleared his throat. “Well, long story short, we were two years into the business when he was killed by one of our bounties. He’d put his gun away when the man posed like he was coming willingly. As soon as Brent let his guard down, the bounty pulled a knife and stabbed him twice in his side before I even knew what was happening.” Judge’s voice lowered to barely a murmur. “Brent bled out in my arms. Ever since then, I’d been content with not having a partner, in any sense of the word. Then you… you came and… none of my rules were holding up. Next thing I know, death had showed up again.
“I was a coward to run the way I did. I didn’t want to face what was coming with my dad, but most of all, I realized that I was about to face it alone. And it was my own damn fault that I was by myself. I should’ve let you come with me. I was alone and hurt, and by the time I realized that it was you I was hurting for the most, I’d already fucked up. I was angry over losing someone very special, the one person that’s been constant in my life. Instead of being a man and dealing with it… I lashed out at you, when I knew it wasn’t your fault.”
Michaels put the roasting pan in the oven and placed a skillet on the range to sauté his fresh green beans in some garlic and butter. He hadn’t turned to face Judge. His will was waning with every word Judge spoke. How could he stay mad at a man that had reacted badly after hearing he had only hours to say goodbye to someone he loved? And that death stirred up a ghost that had been laid to rest for years.
“Honey. I’ve never apologized to anyone. I’ve never begged for anything a day in my life.”
Michaels tensed. Judge was standing so close behind him now; he could feel his warmth, smell the faint traces of his spicy cologne. He knew he couldn’t fight what his heart wanted any longer.
“But I’m here begging you for your forgiveness. Wanting another chance. Even if you say no right now, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll ask tomorrow and the next day and the next, until you tell me you want me, too.” Judge put one large hand on Michaels’ waist and applied just the right amount of pressure to make Michaels fall back into his embrace. “I love you Austin, and I’m not gonna stop begging until you tell me you love me too.”
Michaels thought he hadn’t heard right, but Judge’s whisky-hewn voice was right there in his ear and he hadn’t mumbled it, he’d said it clear as day. He loved him. Judge wrapped both muscular arms around Michaels and he welcomed it. Why deny himself any longer? Why wallow in misery? He let Judge turn him around. He stared at Judge; saw the honesty and the sorrow. Knew his apology was genuine. If Judge hurt him again then....
Michaels squeezed his eyes shut. “You leveled me, Judge. I… I couldn’t even function.”
Judge nodded his head like he understood. “I know. I know I did. But I’m asking you to trust me.”
Michaels’ voice was stern. “One more.”
Judge smiled at him. “One more chance is all I need.” Judge claimed Michaels’ mouth, swallowed any and all possible rejection and savored only his acceptance. The kiss was intense and full of what Judge was promising. When he pulled back, Judge cupped both of Michaels’ scratchy cheeks and whispered into his mouth. “God, you’re beautiful. What the fuck was I thinking?”