“This is really something,” Meridian said when Slade pulled up to a ragged stone path that led to the porch.
Slade immediately got out and started unloading their bags and setting them at the front door. Ex cracked one eyelid, half expecting to see Evan’s bright smile and gleaming gray eyes at the window, banging on it for him to hurry up and get out so he could hug him. Ex breathed heavily. He ached to go inside and dreaded it all at the same time. There wasn’t anyone waiting for him in there and he already missed the rare hugs he’d never feel again. The program had tried to drill the word ‘emotionless’ into his psyche, but with him, it didn’t stick. He remembered what adoration and affection felt like. Because their mother had never gotten it for herself, she made sure they knew what it was. He looked up and Meridian’s face was turned towards him, but he couldn’t see his dark eyes hidden behind the silver-rimmed shades he wore.
“Is this where you came the few times you left my side?” Meridian asked as he pulled a black cigarette from his breast pocket.
Ex swallowed around his answer. His partner almost sounded hurt, as he stared at the five-room, renovated cabin. “It is,” he said thickly.
“You didn’t want me to know about it.”
Meridian didn’t state it as a question. But Ex had an answer, nonetheless. “You did know. You can find me anywhere that I go, Meridian.”
“You left for privacy. Obviously.” Meridian didn’t get out of the vehicle and the silence around them was potent.
“Yeah. But not from you. Sometimes when I was here, I half expected you to just show up. I’d stare out the window into the forest, waiting for you to appear out of the darkness.” Wearing much the same as he was now—dark jeans with a designer black sweater, and that fucking black camel-suede, knee-length trench. Underneath would be enough firepower to stop an army.
“I thought you wanted to be alone,” Meridian rumbled. “I guess I misread you on that.”
Ex shook his head. To say that meant they’d disappointed the other. “I didn’t know what I wanted, Mere. I still don’t.”
“I do,” Meridian said. “You need closure.”
Ex couldn’t hold his rigid posture another second. He slumped in the seat, giving up the strain to stay composed on the outside when his very soul was being shredded on the inside. Experiencing the loss of his only brother was harder than any special ops training he’d ever been through. His body could be beaten and broken a million times over, but those kinds of bruises always healed. The gaping wound left by Evan’s death wasn’t one he thought he’d ever recover from.
“You also need to sleep.”
Just as Meridian said that, Ex stifled a yawn. He’d slept like shit the past few weeks. He’d killed hundreds of men and seen things that could never be unseen, yet he’d still slept like a baby with Meridian close by. Now, he couldn’t settle his mind and sleep eluded him for the first time in years. “I’ve tried.”
“I know.”
“You should,” Ex shot back. He remembered choppy bits of last night’s dream. Of him and Meridian running through Atlanta chasing Evan while he ran from hails of gunfire. Then it’d all suddenly vanished.
“You were awake?”
“No,” Ex whispered. “I heard you.”
His partner stared at him, his jaw clenched, hardly breathing.
“I heard you in my dreams, Mere.” Ex reached for the handle of the door and got out.
Meridian
Meridian grabbed his personal bag and followed Ex up the few steps to his secret sanctuary. He didn’t know what was going on in Ex’s head but he was definitely off. Rightfully so, he supposed, but Meridian didn’t know how to offer comfort. He was a man of few words, and when he did speak it was about a subject he knew. He didn’t know grief. He didn’t know the pain of losing a close relative.
Once they were inside and out of the biting chill, he gave his partner some much-needed room. Ex was looking around his nice cabin as if he were seeing it for the first time—or searching for a ghost. Meridian walked through the home, not bothering to ask Ex for an official tour. It was a one-story, open floor plan with large beams placed strategically throughout the living room and dining area. There were two bedrooms, an office or study, and two baths. Tour over.
Meridian then began to note each window, door, fireplace, and every way in or out of their secured location. Next, he started to stash weapons in various places, some spots he found already having one there.
Slade brought in Ex’s crate that held his laptops and monitors and set it on the six-person dining table. “With those antennas on your roof, you should be able to communicate with Jupiter from here. This is a nice setup you got, man. Who takes care of all this shit while you’re away from—”