“We can help you do the right thing by Evan. We can,” God promised. He didn’t want to walk away without more information on their potential key witness, but he knew if he pushed too hard he could frighten them away. Going up against a gang was dangerous and sometimes suicidal for an adult. He knew he had to tread lightly with this mother and her child.
As God pulled out of the parking lot Day pointed in the opposite direction of the interstate. “Turn right here, Cash.”
“For what?” God frowned at his husband.
“I wanna grab me a chicken and dumplings before Ms. Winnifred runs out.” Day rubbed his hands together.
The automated system called their stop over the intercom a half hour ago and Meridian was counting down the seconds until he could get off this goddamn train. The private suite that Ex had secured for them was better than riding in coach, but the ride was way too long and there were far too many unnecessary stops.
He reclined his head with his earbuds pushed deep into his ears. He was in an irritable mood, so he was listening to Limp Bizkit. He closed his eyes, trying to focus on the lyrics of the song and not on what was really under his skin and making him burn all over. Like the way Ex had felt when he’d been pinned beneath him. He thought about Godfrey’s small clip of video with his husband and the pleasure that had overtaken his rough features when he was in his arms. Meridian cut his eyes to the seat next to him and saw that Ex was still asleep.
When they’d reached Langley Air Force Base they’d had to move fast and get their supplies loaded and out of there before anyone recognized them. Officially, they were on rest, so they could go anywhere in the world they desired, but them being in Virginia was questionable. They’d been so focused on their task they hadn’t had a chance to talk about what’d happened the other night, and Meridian wasn’t sure he wanted to. He was still surprised at himself for doing what he’d done, so how could he explain to his partner what he was thinking?
What was weirder was that Ex was carrying on as if nothing had happened and it was business as usual. Maybe that was how they should play this. They were already breaking tons of rules by taking on a domestic situation, but they’d be entering a whole other hemisphere of defiance if they tried to be intimate with each other. They’d understood when they’d signed on for the program that there’d be no marriages, kids, a dog, families, holiday gatherings, or homes with picket fences to return to after an assignment. They were to have no ties except for the officer groomed to operate alongside them. If they were already dead... then there was no one to miss them... therefore the government didn’t have to give an explanation if or when they disappeared for real.
He thought about how he’d feel if something happened to Ex. Would he mourn and grieve the same way Ex was for his brother, or would it be ten times worse? Since he couldn’t fathom anyone hurting his partner, he assumed so. He’d been doing a breathing exercise to calm his anxiety when he felt Ex’s head land on his shoulder. He peeked down and noticed he was still asleep, so comfortable and peaceful that Meridian could hear his light snores. He had the urge to graze his fingertips over the long lashes lying against Ex’s cheek, but instead he clenched his hands into tight fists. He could smell the undertones of vanilla in Ex’s hair when he bent his head and oh-so-carefully ran his nose along the short strands. He was even so bold as to turn his head and let the soft spikes brush his cheek. Before he knew it, he’d closed his eyes at the thickness growing in his slacks.
Fuck. Meridian inhaled sharply. Why did he have such an inexplicable yearning to touch Ex while he slept? If he wasn’t brave enough to do it when he was awake then he needed to knock it off. The train began to slow and soon came to a stop. Ex didn’t move. It’d been weeks since he’d slept well and now as he rested against Meridian... nothing could wake him. He knew the feelings he was having shouldn’t be there and he was afraid to know why they’d arisen in the first place. Wasn’t he emotionless? Void on the inside. He and Ex both. Was their bond that strong that there was nothing the scientists could give them to make it disappear?
He could hear the other passengers leaving their cars, yet he sat still, wishing he didn’t have to wake Ex. He ducked his head and put his lips close to Ex’s temple and whispered for him to wake up.