Meridian turned to face him, and while Ex couldn’t see those obsidian pupils in the dark hallway, he could just make out the deep concentration lines etched in his stern face. “No.” Meridian croaked. “I said a man who can partner with the one he loves doesn’t make him weaker, but more dangerous. And yeah, I believe it now more than ever,” he said and went inside his room and shut the door.
Ex closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the hard surface. Fuck. He was pushing Meridian too hard. He’d been so consumed with his own shit that he hadn’t stopped to consider what his partner wanted. Ex needed to pull back and let him breathe. He went inside his room and immediately started a fire to at least try to get warmer. Then he turned the small flat screen television on to world news, thinking any distraction was better than nothing. He didn’t rush through his evening routine, figuring he’d wait until he was so tired that he passed out. After twenty minutes he heard Meridian’s shower start and the thought of that sexy body, wet and soapy in the shower, was making Ex hard... again. Any thoughts of Meridian made him hard lately.
He gathered his own toiletry bag and his towel and went to his bathroom across the hall. He turned on the hot water tap and scrubbed his body so quickly and roughly that his skin was splotched red from the treatment. He did what he had to to keep his thoughts away from the man just next door. Anything to keep his mind and his hand off his cock. He was so thick and swollen, his balls heavy and full between his thighs from the lack of release. It’d been a long time since he’d been fucked, it’d been years since he’d been fucked by someone he’d wanted. The few other times he’d had sex, it was about achieving one goal. While Meridian had been off working some female mark and screwing her into next week, Ex had had to go and find a way to blow off the steam of knowing someone else was touching what was his. Touching what he could never have.
Ex wrapped the towel around his waist, ignoring the way it was tented at the front. He brushed his teeth and shaved in the sink before turning off the light and going back to his room. He was about to close himself inside when he noticed that Meridian’s light was off, but his door was no longer sealed tight. He’d left a slight crack.
Meridian
Meridian laid in the bed with the covers pushed down to his waist, staring at the flames flickering in the stone fireplace. He’d taken a long, hot shower and he was finally starting to feel relaxed until he heard Ex come out of his bathroom. He tracked his slow steps, almost willing them to come in his direction. He’d wanted to grab Ex’s hand and pull him behind him to his room and throw him on the bed, but he knew that would have been wrong. His partner was mourning the loss of his closest relative. Meridian may not have had much empathy left inside him, but he knew it’d be a dirtbag move to take advantage of him while his guard was down.
He exhaled softly after he heard Ex go into his room. He tucked both hands behind his head, closed his eyes and willed his disappointment away. He didn’t want to take Ex’s actions as a rejection, but he couldn’t help it. They’d leaped over a massive barrier into forbidden territory, and it was too late to go back now. He’d never felt anything more potent than Ex’s carnal need for him. The way he’d trembled when Meridian had gotten extra close. The way he’d try to inconspicuously get a deeper whiff of his cologne when he didn’t think Meridian was paying attention. The unnecessary touches and holds when they were in the field. The way Ex would stare and get lost in whatever it was he saw when he looked at him. He knew Ex was crazy about him, and he was going to prove he was in the same place. And while it was fucked up that it took this tragedy for them to see what they were to each other, there was no denying it was real.
The fire was blazing, and enough logs had been lit that the heat was engulfing the room and making him relax even farther into the soft sheets. He must’ve dozed off for a while because he suddenly snapped his eyes open, his breath holding and catching anytime he startled awake. After listening to nothing for several long seconds Meridian exhaled and kicked off the rest of the crisp white sheets from over his legs. He eased his grip from around his forty-five under his pillow. He checked his watch on the nightstand and saw it was almost seven in the morning. He had a missed call from an admin contact on base. He turned the dial on his smart watch to retrieve the message.