“Oh,” My throat managed tight enough to hinder proper breathing. “I think he did.”
“Zane is…” Alec swore. “He’s…”
“Complicated?” I offered.
“That…” Alec nodded then hit the accelerator when the light flashed green. “But, there’s so much more to him, to any of us really. When you live in the spotlight, when every movement is on display for the world to see, it sucks ass. You do something right, and people love you. You have one bad day, and they despise you, the crowds turn on you and even your own agent gets angry because suddenly you aren’t booking sold-out shows, hell you aren’t even booking shows. And then, of course, the cycle continues once you do something else crazy, only to repeat the process again.” He shuddered. “It’s demeaning, demoralizing…but it’s also addictive, this lifestyle, the way people worship you.”
I gulped. “I c-can’t imagine. I really can’t. Even if I tried. I’d f-fall short.” Get it together, Fallon. I focused on breathing so my words would come out normal.
“And I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Hell, my poor wife. I even think about my little girl, and I get so sick I want to puke. This is the life I chose, but what about them? The people I love and care for?” He shrugged. “I’m not trying to justify what happened, or what he said, I just want you to try to understand that as much as people say celebrities are just like you.” He licked his lips and smirked. “We’re not. We won’t ever be normal.”
His admission was shocking.
And yet, honest.
Raw.
The rift between me and Zane had never been so evident, or so depressing.
“I didn’t mean for that to sound arrogant.” His low voice interrupted my thoughts. “Just necessary.”
“It’s not.” I frowned. “In fact, I was just thinking that it was…very trusting of you.”
His smile widened. “You’re a logical girl, aren’t you Fallon?”
I nodded. “Zane doesn’t call me four eyes because I won Miss Seaside. I’d like to think I’m more brain than beauty.”
“He calls you four eyes?” Alec was incredulous. “To your face?”
“Yeah?”
“Huh.” His lips pressed together as though he was trying to keep himself from laughing. “I’ll be damned.”
“Am I missing something?”
“All brains you say?” He said in a teasing tone and then huffed out. “You never did give me your address then again I didn’t ask. I want to hear all the gory details before I drop you off.”
“Oh.” I felt my face heat. “I’m sorry. Here you are trying to entertain me while I mope and—”
“You have reason to mope.”
“I don’t like it though.” In fact, I felt dirty like I needed a shower, I never wanted to be the type of girl to get so upset over a guy that she sobs herself to sleep and then eats an entire quart of ice cream. I would like to think I wasn’t like that, but clearly, I didn’t know myself very well because it sounded good and easy, to go home and pout instead of text Zane and tell him to man up.
Which just further made me wonder if I was that bossy in every area of my life. Oh no. I really was my grandma.
She ingrained in me to be a strong woman.
And now I was bossing around a stranger. Fantastic.
I fired off my address, but when Alec stopped in front of my house, he held out his hand. “Wait.”
“What?”
“He ran out of marshmallows.”
“Right.” I said slowly. “And then freaked out.”
“Because of the marshmallows?”
I frowned. “Well, yeah I mean he said he didn’t have any marshmallows.”
Alec sighed. “Think about it, Fallon.”
I was. I just didn’t get his point.
Alec looked heavenward. “Oh hell, if this ever gets out I’ll deny it.”
“What?”
“I used to be terrified of singing in front of people. My comfort, of course, was being with my brother and just chilling together at home. So, my agent brought my home with me. He took a picture of me and Demetri playing guitar then glued it onto this felt fabric. He basically ordered me to keep it in my pocket, which, if you’ve ever seen how tight our jeans are, was ridiculously hard to begin with.” He chuckled. “But something about feeling the fabric between my fingers and knowing that I could go home when we were done, it calmed me down and I got over my fear.”
My brain started slowly connecting the dots. “So,” My eyes narrowed. “You’re saying that marshmallows are like his picture?”
“I didn’t say it was sane.” He shrugged. “And I probably don’t know him well enough to say I’m a hundred percent sure, but I’m going to assume that the issue wasn’t the fact that he’s obsessed with marshmallows and more that he uses them as a comfort.”
My jaw dropped open.
Alec chuckled. “Wow, it feels so good to be the smartest guy in the SUV.”
I rolled my eyes and unbuckled my seatbelt. “Thanks for the ride and…the talk…” I stopped and glanced at the backseat. “You’re going to be an awesome dad, you know that?”
His grin was huge. “You think so?”
“Little girl, right?” I pointed to the pink blanket near the carrier.