“Hey! Whoa… Steele! Let him go! Easy… easy!”
“Don’t touch him!” Steele heard the strongest voice of all of them break over the yells. If God was ex-military, he knew what he was talking about. Because if any of the others got too close, or tried to touch him, he’d take care of them, too.
He could hear the yells of the men but he kept his eyes locked on Tech. “It’s illegal for you to possess that information,” he snarled, his anger bubbling beneath the surface. He kept the lock on Tech’s arms with one hand and shot his arm around the back of the smaller man’s neck, jerking him close to his mouth. “Don’t you ever say that name in your life. You don’t deserve to say that name.”
“Okay… okay, easy Steele. He’s not your enemy,” Syn crooned from a distance, his raspy voice breaking through. “He was only doing what we asked. Shawn was going to shred it right after.”
Steele listened to the sergeant’s words, the darkness around the edges of his vision fading back to color. When he looked closer, he could see the moisture, the panic in the detective’s eyes. He also saw the man’s anger, the shame at being the weaker opponent. Steele abruptly released him and Tech stumbled back, landing in Day’s arms. When his lieutenant tried to look him over, Tech brushed him off and shouldered past the rest of his team to storm out of the office. Syn bolted after him, his concern for his brother evident.
That’s when it hit Steele like a two-by-four to his chest. The regret. He’d used his skill on a man who hadn’t stood a chance. He’d attacked a man who had meant him no harm. Tech had just been doing his job. Fuck. Goddamnit. Steele ran his hands through his short strands of hair, trying not to beat himself up so hard for what he’d done. But how could he not? He’d just shown these men how fast he could snap at the mention of his fallen brothers. The office held that uncomfortable, dismal vibe that was the polar opposite of what it had been when he’d entered. He’d brought despair into their team… that meant he’d never be a member.
Steele bent and picked up the documents he’d knocked out of Tech’s hands. He looked at the few men still there, all of their eyes averted, not even able to look at him. There was only one thing he could say as he took his walk of shame towards the door. “Interview’s over. Test failed.”
God
“Damnit. What was Tech thinking?” God grumbled, dropping down into his chair. He propped his arms up on his desk, wishing the meeting had gone very differently.
“What do you mean? Tech was innocent here. That guy tried to break his arms in half, and for what?” Day paced, looking like he wanted to go after the guy and teach him a lesson. God grabbed his partner’s hand, stopping him midway between laps. He wished he could pull Day into him but he refrained. “It’s not like that. Those names were triggers.”
Day’s scowl finally receded, his look turning to empathy. He knew Day would understand. God had served as well, and he definitely had a few triggers of his own. But the rest of God’s team wasn’t looking all that convinced, especially when Syn walked back in with Tech close behind him. Syn held his hand up, signaling them to give him some distance. It was hard not to want to comfort him. That clutch had to hurt. It was an arm bar clutch trap. God knew it well, which was why he warned his men not to advance. The move could do significant damage, and he had a feeling that Steele was punishing himself right at that moment for using it.
Tech went back to his computer and began working on whatever it was he constantly did over there when he wasn’t under specific order, and God let him. Let him get himself situated.
“So, what do you want to do?” Day asked God.
He sat there a second longer just to be sure, but he believed he was doing the right thing. He looked at Ruxs and Green. “What did you guys think?”
“I think he’s a loose cannon.” Ruxs shrugged. “But then… so are we.”
“I don’t like what he did, man.” Green looked hard at God. He understood. It looked bad, and Tech was a member of their family and no one hurt their family… but this was different.
God stood up to address his men. “You guys heard what I did on a bust – before we got this task force – when that kingpin, Hansen had a gun to Day’s head. I wasn’t concerned about what was right… what was protocol. I put the entire bravo team in jeopardy, risked the lives of a lot of officers… to save him. I’d do it again. Syn. Do you remember what happened when Furi was attacked by his ex-husband in your house? You’d be in prison for murder right now if we hadn’t shown up in time. Green, you almost pulled your firearm on that woman… that housemother, when she let Curtis get bullied in that boys’ home and did nothing to stop it. You remember how you reacted when you first saw those bruises on your son’s face? Ruxs, when that crackhead got the drop on Green… you went fucking ballistic, man. Then he mentioned your mom… Jesus… it was a wrap. You were suspended for a week.” God looked around, noting the looks of understanding. “We all have our triggers, fellas. Steele ain’t no different. He came in for an interview and got ambushed with a memory he wasn’t prepared to deal with… one he had an extreme reaction to. Sometimes for those men, it doesn’t matter how many they saved; all they care about is how many they couldn’t. We’ve all been there.”