“We did try.”
“You kissed and played cards for a week straight, that’s not trying.”
“It wasn’t the same, I’d catch him looking at me, like he was trying to figure me out. Do you even realize how that feels? Being a stranger to someone who used to be…” I shuddered. “Closer than anyone else you’ve ever been with? I mean, for all I know he’s wondering what his previous self ever saw in me.”
“Stop that.” Mags pinched me. “You’re absolutely gorgeous, and if he doesn’t see how amazing your soul is right along with those giant brown eyes, then he’s an idiot.”
I smiled. At least I had Mags.
“So.” She popped her gum and stared up at the large resort building. “Five hours of hell, and then I say we binge watch something on Netflix.”
“Bring popcorn.” I pulled off my sunglasses and numbly walked into the lobby. I refused to think about the last time I was there, but memories, the real ones, the ones that were tied to things like smell.
They stayed.
So when the smell of the hallway hit me.
I thought of his hands on my body.
When the elevator dinged, and I went to grab the cart and punch in, I thought of his nervous laughter.
When I finally managed to wheel my cart down the hall, thunder sounded outside reminding me of that night.
Reminding me that we’d made love all night.
I was in his arms.
Goose bumps erupted across my body. I hugged myself and forced tears back—it seemed like that was all I was doing lately, pretending to be fine, pasting fake smiles on my face and rewarding myself when I didn’t cry.
As luck would have it, about an hour into my shift, I was moved to the penthouse floor.
I rode the same elevator to the top.
And closed my eyes as the memory of his kiss burned into my brain.
My cart got caught on the elevator door, with a curse I pushed it through and started the slow painful walk down the hallway.
Luckily, I didn’t need to clean his room.
Just five of them on the same floor.
Room one took me an hour.
Room two took me another hour.
It was starting to get dark by the time I made it to a relatively clean room three.
Room four was next door to his room.
I think I stared at both doors for at least ten minutes before finally gaining enough courage to open the door nearest his.
I knew he wasn’t there because the staff had been given strict instructions not to go inside until he was back.
A door slamming caught my attention, around ten girls all dressed in short skirts laughed and made their way down the hall.
One had a bachelorette crown on her head.
“Hey!” One of them stumbled toward me. “Is it true that Zane Andrews lost his virginity on this floor?”
“Yes.” I fired back defensively. “At least that’s a rumor, but you never know.” Why was I still talking?
She frowned. “You look familiar.”
“I’m one of the maids.” I ducked my head and grabbed a roll of toilet paper.
“Hmm,” She tapped her chin. “I wish I was the one he gave it up to, lucky bitch.”
“Yeah.” I sighed. “Lucky bitch.”
She grinned and turned back to the group of girls just as the elevator doors opened.
Strength zapped, I leaned against the cart and closed my eyes.
Why did everything have to be so perfect?
Only to fall apart.
I promised I wouldn’t leave him if something happened, what we never factored in, was if he would ever leave me.
And he did.
He left.
Oh, he’d texted.
He’d tried calling.
But it hurt too much. Everything hurt. And talking to him made it worse, it made me hope—hope was too cruel to play with. Better forget everything than hope that one day he’d look at me like he used to.
I checked my watch. I needed to at least get to another room.
I took a sip of water from my water bottle and screwed the top back on just as the elevator doors opened again.
And Zane Andrews.
My Zane was walking toward me.
With the same unfamiliar look in his eyes.
And lipstick on his face.
His stupid song had it all wrong—hearts can break more than once—mine just had.
Chapter Forty-Four
Zane
I WAS LEAVING IN two days.
I had two days left at Seaside.
I didn’t want to leave—but what choice did I have? Everyone here had a life, and now that I was no longer running away from mine, it was stupid to stay.
Right?
The guys understood.
But they weren’t happy about it.
I’d completely forgotten that I had a hotel room in the Seaside Resort until Will called to remind me to go grab all of my shit before they sold it on eBay.
I sent another text to Fallon as I made my way over to the resort.
Still nothing.
I missed her.
It hurt.
But the connection I knew I should have with her—wasn’t there, unless I was kissing her, talking to her. And she’d shut down. The person she was before surgery no longer existed because the person I’d been to her…was gone.
I didn’t know how to get us back.
I wanted to try, but I was afraid she was right, afraid she’d resent me if we never got back to the place we needed to be.
Was that what I was doing? Leaving because I was afraid?
The hotel loomed in the distance as waves crashed across the beach. A chill filled the air as rain started to pour from the sky. Great. Just fantastic.