I can’t even begin to think about losing her. I know she’s getting older—it’s inevitable. And I know that one day, I’ll need to face a world without her in it. But I can’t bear the idea. She’s my only family left, since Mom passed, and my father was never in the picture. She raised me from the time I was eight years old. She’s the only real parent I’ve ever known.
I can’t lose her. Not yet.
But she’s also never been one for talking about being sick. Or admitting she’s human. Even when she had pneumonia once, when I was fifteen, she ignored the symptoms and kept working. Right up until she collapsed in the middle of a shift at the hospital. Her supervisor forced her to take 3 days off, but after that she was right back up and at ’em, saving lives and helping people.
She’s the reason I decided to become a nurse. Trailing around after her at the hospital was where I first fell in love with the idea of helping to care for the sick.
Carers don’t like to let people take care of them, I guess. Against their nature. I squeeze Gram’s arm tighter. “Just listen to the doctors, okay? And take it easy when they tell you to. They told me about you wandering around after curfew, you know.”
She huffs. “Well it’s ridiculous. I’m not a child. I’m a grown-ass woman who can take care of myself.”
I stare at her pointedly. “And why did you leave the ward at three in the morning, Gram?”
That huff turns into a sigh. “I was craving gummy bears from the visitors vending machine.”
“Right. Sounds very grown-up,” I tease with a smirk.
“When did you become such a smart aleck?” she grumbles. But she’s smiling, so I know she doesn’t really mind. “Anyway, enough about me and my old bones. Tell me about yourself. Your stories keep me young at heart.” Her eyes twinkle as she smiles up at me.
Up. Because she’s shrunk in the last few years, not because I’ve grown. We used to be exactly the same height, 5’4″, and I loved that. Now I feel abandoned here, as she’s shrinking away.
I shake myself to attention. “Oh, not much. Work is as miserable as ever. Paul’s still a jerkwad.”
“And school?”
“Going okay.” I shrug, feeling a pang of guilt. I haven’t worked on prepping for my next exam, and it’s in just a week and a half. I really need to get on that. “I guess a little hectic. But nothing new.”
“This is not keeping me very young.” Gram clucks her tongue. “No exciting adventures or wild nights out with Erin? No suspicious young men I should be interrogating or threatening, hmm?” She grins, and I groan and turn my head away.
Mostly to hide the flush across my cheeks. Oh yeah, Gram. This hot new guy, total asshole, who I’m about to sleep with for a bucketload of money.
That would go over great.
“I shall take that as a negative.” Gram shakes her head. “Well, all’s the better I suppose. You can’t go getting distracted from your studies, not now. The right man will come along when you least expect him. Until then, you’re smart.” She pats my arm with a smile. “Keep your eye on the prize, and everything else will work itself out.”
Oh, Gram. I am keeping my eye on the prize, trust me. But the prize, for me, would be keeping her whole and healthy as long as I can.
I’m not ready to navigate this crazy world on my own yet.
“Right, what’s going on?”
I freeze in the middle of the living room, as the kettle whistles from the stove. It’s been twenty-four hours since I first met Pierce. Well, “met” via the computer, I guess. And already I’m about to head off to let some strange woman get all up in my business, seeing parts of my body no one else has, just to please him. I wonder if he convinces every woman he fucks to jump through this many hoops?
Thinking about those wolfish eyes of his, and that predatory grin, it’s not hard to imagine. I’m pretty sure every woman on the planet would say “how high?” if he told them to jump.
But, I haven’t exactly mentioned any of this to my roommate. I force a huge smile and face Erin. “What do you mean?”
She smirks. “Well, I wasn’t sure. Until you put your guilty face on just now.” She takes a running leap onto the couch, sending my laptop bouncing through the air. “Tell me, Bonnie! Are you quitting your job? Starting a secret business empire?” Her smile turns sly and knowing. “Is it a boyyyyy?”
“It’s nothing!” I protest, snatching the kettle from the stove as it continues to whistle at a deafening pitch.
“Bullshit. You were closed in your room talking to someone yesterday, now you’re up way before noon, when I know for a fact you don’t have classes today and you don’t start your diner shift until 7 tonight.”