Defined By Deceit

The judge leaned in. “What say you?”

The foreman turned to face Llew. “We the jury, in the case of The State of Virginia versus Llewellyn Mark Gardner find the defendant guilty of the charge of sexual assault in the first degree.”

Llew clutched his chest. The whole scene that played out was like something out of movie. His brother was cursing and pointing his finger at the mayor, calling him a fool and an in denial son of a bitch. Llew didn’t even have a chance to say goodbye to his brother, he had been apprehended by a couple bailiffs.

“If you don’t talk to me, Llewellyn I can’t help you. Are you thinking of ending your life?”

Everyday. Every minute, Doc.

“Inmate. Do you want to stay in the hole? No visitors, no rec, nothing.”

As long as I’m in the hole, no one’s able to kill me.

Llew had been in the hole for two months before he couldn’t take it anymore. He had to see his brother. He hated for Leslie to see him like this. He knew he looked like hell, since he could only sleep a couple hours a day. His cellmate had told him he’d better not sleep, or else he’d do to Llew exactly what Llew had done to Moss. Anytime Llew opened his mouth to say he didn’t do anything, he was punched in it. He’d learned to keep his mouth shut, because the alternative was losing teeth.

He was learning fairly quickly how to dodge certain people and situations, but some things just couldn’t be avoided. The main things were the gangs and the crews. There were so many, but the first thing he learned was which ones were the most violent. Llew was in a three-tier, maximum-security prison, which didn’t house the friendliest group of men, but at least there were few lifers in the unit. Everyone there had a release date, and therefore, something to lose. Llew didn’t want to be on anyone’s side, he didn’t want to be in anyone’s clique. Not that cho-mos – prison term for child molesters – were ever invited to join a crew, but he still tried to stay out of their way.

It was required that everyone worked a job: in the kitchen, landscaping, trash removal, or library, whatever. Llew would have preferred landscaping, especially since he would be outdoors every day, but he couldn’t do it, because there were too many ways for him to get cornered out of sight of the guards. He petitioned for the kitchen, but that would soon turn dangerous as well.

Llew was in his cell, drawing a blueprint for a model home, trying to remember his design and build software when the guard came to let him know he had a visitor.

His brother stood when Llew walked in, but the guard quickly reminded them not to touch. That was the easiest way for outsiders to bring in contraband, and slip it to inmates. So the “no touching” rule was strongly enforced.

“Hey, Llew,” his brother whispered. “How you holding up, bro? How they treating you in here?”

Llew barked an incredulous laugh. Could his brother really not see his busted lip? “Let’s just say, I’m not getting the respect a rapist deserves.”

“Llewellyn, you’re not a rapist.”

Llew tried to run his hand through his dirty, tangled hair, but his fingers ended up getting snagged. Since he had to avoid the showers most of the time, his hair was in dire need of a good washing. “Bro, please don’t come here anymore. I can’t handle this.”

“What?” Leslie choked.

“I don’t want you taking a six hour drive just to come here and look at how fucked-up I am now. My life is over.”

“It’s not over, Llew.” Leslie shook his head sadly.

“Ten fuckin’ years, Leslie! Ten! They threw the fuckin’ book at me. I’m gonna fuckin’ die in this place. I can’t do ten years in here, especially as a child rapist.”

“Child rapist.” His brother looked confused.

“Some fuckin’ way, everyone knows that my so-called victim was a minor. So now I rape little boys.”

“Oh god.” Leslie looked sick, but he had no clue.

“My back is against the goddamn wall, man. I ain’t gonna survive this place.” Llew squeezed his eyes shut. This was the hardest thing in the world to do, but it had to be done. “Don’t come back, Leslie. It’s over for me.”

Tears streamed down his brother’s cheeks.

“Guard, I’m ready to go back to my cell.”

“Llewellyn don’t do this. You can make it.”

“Not ten years, I won’t.”

“You’ll be out in eight with good behavior.”

“Leslie I’m not gonna make another eight days.”

“Llew don’t talk like—”

The guard was behind him, and Llew stood to leave. He could hear his brother calling him, but he ignored it. On his way out, he saw an inquisitive pair of bright blue eyes locked on him. The man watched him like Llew was the most interesting thing he’d ever seen. The guy was another inmate who was visiting with someone too. First thing Llew noticed was that he was absolutely stunning, but Llew couldn’t think that way, especially not in here. The man regarded Llew with a quick dip of his chin before turning back to his company. Llew caught a glimpse of the King, Queen, and Jack playing cards tattooed on the man’s neck, the Ace of Spades the largest of them all.