Defined By Deceit

“Fuck. Come on, damnit.” Llew grunted harshly. He rested his forehead on the cool tile, while he continued the tug and stroke combination. He pictured Shane’s beautiful face, pictured his sexy smile and cool demeanor. The feeling was there, the urge to take him and make him his, but in the back of his mind was that word… rapist. Shane would never want a rapist.

He gave up. His chest heaved with the exertion, with exhaustion, with disappointment. Llew balled up his fists and just stopped himself from slamming them repeatedly into the tiles. The muscles in his arms flexed as he stared down at his cock. Would he never make love again?

“Ms. Pat. I’m going in to town for the meeting in about an hour. I got time to fix the handle on your bathroom door if you want,” Llew said, from the other side of the island in Ms. Pat’s kitchen.

“Oh that’d be great, Llewellyn. Thank you, honey. I swear if Jimmy Jr. breaks another thing in this here house, I’ma’ start a tab for his daddy.” She chuckled, pulling off her apron. “I guess I best get cleaned up myself. You walking into town or do you want me to drive us? I’m going too.”

“Sure. I’ll pull some weeds in your garden while I wait.”

“Llewellyn you’re a godsend.” She put the cake lid on the pound cake she’d just finished and scurried out of the room.

It only took Llew ten minutes to finish replacing the doorknob. He put the large toolbox back in the garage; grabbed a pair of garden gloves and a lawn bag, and went to work pulling some of the overgrown ground cover. He wasn’t just doing this to try to suck up, either. He really did like Ms. Pat. She reminded him of his mom’s sister who passed a year after his parents. She was kind and sweet, just like her, and always had something baking. She believed baked goods were like balm to the wounded soul. He hoped Ms. Pat saw the good that was in him. Llew had just tied the bag up and set it on the curb for the end of the week’s garbage pickup when his landlady came out the front door. Llew quickly offered his arm, and walked her down the stairs and to her car.

“I tell you, hon. I’m not looking forward to this here meeting. I’ve heard the gossips got something big cooking.” She huffed, sliding into the driver’s seat. Llew closed her door and went around to the passenger side. He heaved a weary breath and decided it was probably best to tell her now, since the gossip being cooked up was no doubt about him. “I’m only going because I want to know if they approved our petition to rebuild the town park. I don’t have anywhere to take Jimmy Jr. when the summer rolls back around.”

“Ms. Pat.”

“We got over a hundred and fifty signatures. That should be more than enough, don’tcha think, Llewellyn?” She prattled on while she drove them into town, completely oblivious to his inner chaos. He only had a few minutes, so Llew needed to man up fast.

Llew cleared his throat. His deep voice raspy in the confined space. “Ms. Pat I need to tell you something before the meeting.”

“Sure honey,” she said, not bothering to look at him.

“Um. I um.” Llew felt his breathing pick up and his nerves take over. Shit. Calm down. “I wanted to tell—”

“Goodness, honey. What’s wrong? You’re turning all red.” She patted his hand while she steered the big Town Car with her other hand. “I know you’re kinda shy. Is it you don’t want to go to the meeting? Because you don’t have ta.”

Llew brought a shaking hand up to his mouth, coughing a little at the bile rising in the back of his throat. He was realizing that he really cared what Ms. Pat thought of him. It made him sick to think that this sweet woman would think him a disgusting pedophile. “N-no ma’am, that’s not it. I,um. Y-you didn’t ask at the time when you offered me the room, so I didn’t think about it—” He paused. He wouldn’t lie. He blinked back the emotion welling up in his eyes. “I didn’t want to tell you because it’s not who I am, but I um… I was in prison for a while before I came to Henderson to start over. The people in my hometown were… they were… they didn’t want me back there. So I had to leave. I had to leave my brother so his business wouldn’t suffer.”

Ms. Pat had parked in one of the parking spaces in front of the Henderson Recreation Building. She turned off the car and turned her body to face him. “Oh honey. Is that all? Is that what’s got you so shaken up?” She reached over and cupped Llew’s chin, turning him to face her. “Well, darlin’ I did a year in a jail when I was twenty-two.”