Ash hoped he’d get to see her in them sometime soon. But even if he didn’t— even if all this backfired—he still hoped she would wear them. A woman like Kallie deserved at least one set of lingerie she felt comfortable and beautiful in, and he hoped to give Kallie just that. The idea of anyone else but him seeing her in them made his heart break, but in the end, this was all he had.
His grand gesture, his gifts, and himself.
And if Kallie didn’t want it, then there was nothing he could do about it.
Once his car pulled back up to his apartment, he grabbed all of the gifts and hauled them upstairs. He picked up the massive gift bag he’d gotten in a store the other day and slowly stacked one on top of the other, making sure she pulled them out in a specific order. First the jewelry, then the shoes, then the dress.
Then, after everything else was opened, there would be the lingerie.
All Ash had to do was call the courier and craft a note.
He sat at his desk for an hour, writing and rewriting his note to her. He didn’t want to do any of it face-to-face. He didn’t want her to feel pressured to give him a specific answer. His grand gestures would be pressure enough for a woman like Kallie. And the pressure he had leaned on her with in Bali only served to make her choose the city over paradise with him. So, he came at everything from a business perspective. Sometimes, breaking the mold was the only way to get a result that was positive.
So Ash had to break the mold he’d sunken into.
For all this time, Ash had been face-to-face with Kallie. Upfront. Close. Personal. He’d talked to her in person and arrived unannounced in an attempt to grow an atmosphere she couldn't run from. Because Kallie was nothing, if not a runner. This time, he intended on working with her personality trait instead of regarding it as something that needed to be changed. That was his mistake. Thinking that her running needed to be combated.
What he had to do was get her to run with him. Not away from him.
And his best chance at that was leaving her to make this decision without the pressure of staring him in the face.
After writing out the perfect note and sealing it in an envelope, he settled it in the bag and called the courier. The big event was tomorrow evening, which gave Kallie more than enough time to decide on whether or not she was going to come. He hoped she would. He prayed she would. But when he handed the bag off to the delivery man and relinquished all control of the situation, he sat on his couch and gazed out the window.
Everything was riding on Saturday’s event and whether or not Kallie would show. Ash had bent over backward to make sure his parents would be there, even though they couldn't stand being in the same room together. The Grant Ballroom at the Four Seasons was the biggest ballroom in San Francisco, but he knew it would be hard for them. Sometimes, just looking at each other caused a spark that ignited a fight that could burn down an entire city block.
But their involvement in his plan was imperative.
Ash drew in a deep breath as he gazed out over the ocean. His lips muttered silent prayers as he pushed them out into the ethers. If there was anything he’d learned during this entire ordeal with the woman he loved, it was that what someone fed into the universe they always got back. And this entire time, Ash had been feeding dominance. Feeding arrogance. Feeding anger and hatred and resentment. He had to change his tactic. He had to draw back his heavy hand. He needed to feed care and compassion and understanding into the universe in order to reap it back. He fed anger, so he reaped anger. He fed resentment, so he got it from the one woman he wanted to have love him.
This was his last shot to get it right.
Everything inside of him wanted to go ask Kallie himself. Everything inside of him wanted to run after that courier, take it from him, and deliver it himself. But that would only heighten her want to run. He couldn't make an independent woman lean on him. He couldn’t force her to come under his wing. He couldn’t make her take his help. She had to make that choice on her own. An independent woman needed the space she required to make the right decisions for her own life. Otherwise, she would step in the opposite direction just to feel like she had some semblance of control over the situation.
That was what Kallie was doing.
And it was because he had been coming on way too strong.
He cursed himself for not seeing it sooner. For being so blinded by his heavy-handed tactics and his want for her. He’d been so m
uted by her presence and overwhelmed by their passion that he hadn’t seen how quickly he was shoving her away. How scared and overwhelmed she had become by his constant pursuance of her. Kallie felt crowded. He knew she did. And putting her on that boat with him in the middle of the ocean didn’t do anything but rip away the few choices she could make for herself.
He put his head in his hands and began to pray out loud.
“I don’t know if you’re there. Or if you exist. But whoever can hear me, I need you to listen.”
He drew in a deep breath through his nose as tears welled in his eyes.
“I love this woman,” he said with a whisper. “I love every part of her. I love her smile. And her grace. And her independence. And her need to always be running. I do. I really, really do. All I want is for her to run with me. That’s it. I just...”
He raked his hands down his face and heaved a heavy sigh. A sigh that made him feel lightheaded and tilted the room on its axis. He sank into his couch, his head falling back into the cushions as he stared at the ceiling.
“If you can hear me, then please ... please help this to work.”
He closed his eyes and felt a tear slip from his cheek. Kallie had to make this decision on her own, but that didn’t mean he wouldn't try everything in his absolute power to help it along. Fuck, he hoped she made the right decision. He hoped she would show up to this function and accept all he wanted to give her.
He really hoped she wouldn’t be pissed off at him.
His phone vibrated in his pocket and he ripped it out. A simple text message from the courier sent his heart thundering against his chest. He opened up his phone and tapped the message, watching it come alive upon his screen.