Fix Me

“I won’t drop a weight on my head,” he snapped.

Flinching, I turned my face back towards the windows. He was in one hell of a mood. “Okay.”

I heard him flop down in one of the chairs furthest from me. I hated that there was something off between us. I couldn’t help but think something had happened last night. Not something, but someone. He had met someone and he was forced to leave her warm bed and come take care of an invalid.

“Is there anything you want to talk about,” I asked.

“No Bree. I’m fine. I’m sorry if I’m a little short today.”

“Is it stuff with your mom and sister?” I pressed, knowing I should just let it go. “You can talk to me about anything. Lord knows I’ve unburdened my soul on you more times than I can count.”

“There is nothing to talk about,” he insisted.

“We’re friends, right?”

“Yes.”

I licked my lips before plunging on. “Is there something on your mind? Something you would like to talk about—as my friend.”

He let out a long, drawn out sigh. “No, Bree. I’m fine. Why don’t we go for a swim?”

He was trying to distract me, and keep me occupied so he didn’t have to hang out with me. I hated being a burden. “Sure,” I said, without any real enthusiasm.

We managed to get through the afternoon without saying more than a few words to one another. It was one of the worst days I had ever spent with him. I was dying to know what was going on. If I could see his face, I could get a better read on the situation. I couldn’t see his face. I couldn’t see if his jaw was clenched or if his eyes were flashing with anger. I didn’t know if had tears in his eyes or if he was suffering with some kind of pain. I knew none of that because I couldn’t see him.

I fought the urge to stomp my feet and scream at the universe for dealing me the hand I’d been given. When I heard him curse under his breath while he was making us a late snack, I couldn’t take it anymore. I had tried to give him his space and it wasn’t working for me. Call me nosy, but I needed to know what the fuck was happening two feet away from me.

“Luke, please, will you just tell me what it is that’s bothering you? Don’t say there’s nothing wrong. You’ve hardly spoken today. I can hear your breathing and know something is weighing heavy on your shoulders. You aren’t acting like yourself. What is it? Please, just tell me!”

“Bree, just leave it alone.”

I heard a plate land in front of me. “I just want you to be able to talk to me. This doesn’t feel like a friendship at all. You are holding something back and I don’t understand why. You don’t think I can handle it?”

There was a long silence. “I’m heading out early today. Your dad said he was only going to be gone a few hours. He should be back soon. If you need something, hit your button and I’ll come running.”

“You’ll come running?” I repeated.

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way. I’ve said that to you several times before. Don’t go getting all sensitive about it now.”

I didn’t even recognize him. He was suddenly a

completely different person and I wasn’t sure I liked it. I heard him walking away from me. “Luke, wait,” I called out, sliding off the stool to go after him. I ran smack into the damn thing the same time I heard the door close.

He was gone. Just like that. He had walked out on me and I was too fucking blind to chase after him without risking serious injury. I reached out, finding the stool and throwing it. I was beyond over the blind thing. Sick to death of being blind.

In that moment, I decided I wanted the surgery. If there was even the slightest chance I could see again, I had to take it. The worse thing that could happen was that I would die. It wasn’t like I would know if I was dead. If I woke up and couldn’t see, so be it. That was my fate. I would demand my father move me into some group home for the blind far away and I would go. I didn’t want to be a burden on anyone ever again.

Chapter Ten

Luke

I FELT LIKE A COMPLETE and total asshole. I had not meant to take my frustration out on Bree yesterday. It wasn’t the hangover. Not entirely the hangover. I was fighting my own demons and she did not deserve to be treated so poorly. I was going to grovel and beg her to forgive my shitty behavior. I wasn’t sure if she had told my father about what happened. If she did, I was probably going to be looking for a job and moving once again.

I was a shining example of a rolling stone. Except I wasn’t necessarily rolling. I was being kicked down the road over and over again. I wouldn’t blame her for not wanting to be around me. I had been short with her yesterday. I hadn’t been a good caregiver and had been an even worse friend. Yesterday was a prime example of why I didn’t want to blur the lines between our professional and personal relationships.

Never would I have treated a regular client like that. Then again, a client never would have pressed me so hard about what was bothering me. That was the problem with mixing business and pleasure. There were no boundaries. We needed boundaries.

I headed over, hoping Paul was already gone for the day. I didn’t want to risk running into him and getting scolded for my shitty behavior. What happened was really between Bree and me. I hoped he would see it like that but then again, Paul was one very protective father.