Fix Me

“I know you’re not going to leave her side, so I’m going to force you to do it. I’ll be here first thing in the morning tomorrow. You’ll be off and I won’t hear any arguments about it.”

“I appreciate it. I would like to be cavalier and say I don’t need your help, but I know I will. If this goes on another day, I’m going to be dead on my feet tomorrow. Assuming I can even get to my feet.”

She reached out and touched my shoulder. “You’re good for her. She’ll come around soon.”

“I like her,” I admitted. “I love her. I probably shouldn’t tell you that, but I do.”

“I know you do.”

“Did you know Nate?” I asked, knowing I was way overstepping.

“Of course.”

“She said his name. A lot. She was having a nightmare and she kept calling out for him.”

She scoffed. “Probably yelling at him.”

“Was he abusive?”

“No. He’s a self-serving asshole, but he wasn’t abusive.”

That gave me some satisfaction. “Okay.”

“You sure you don’t want to grab a powernap? I can stick around for a while.”

“I’m really okay. I used to pull forty-eight-hour shifts. I’m out of practice, but I’ll be okay. I should probably go check on her.”

“Okay. I’ll be here in the morning. Hang in there. She’s going to get through this. It’s a rough patch.”

“How often does this happen?” I asked.

“Not often.”

That was only a little reassuring. I walked her to the door before going to check on Bree. She was tossing and turning. I watched her sleep. Lisa’s words echoed through my mind. Mel had said this episode was essentially Bree’s own doing. I wasn’t sure I had it in me to be with someone that was in an emotionally fragile state.

I didn’t want to compare her to my mother, but damn, there were a lot of similarities. She was struggling with her own emotional demons. She didn’t want meds. She didn’t want to talk to a therapist. I couldn’t help someone that didn’t want to be helped.

I watched her head roll back and forth on the pillow. She wasn’t my mother. Unlike my mother, Bree had been through a serious trauma. She had a good reason for her problems. I couldn’t transfer my feelings for my mom onto Bree. Bree was struggling and I wanted to be there for her the best I could.

Chapter Twenty-One

Bree

I POPPED OPEN ONE EYE. For a brief second, I had convinced myself the accident and subsequent blindness had been a nightmare. When I saw nothing with the one eye, I opened the other, praying I would see something.

There was nothing. I couldn’t stop the tear from sliding down my cheek. It was all real. I was blind. I lived at home. I reached up, wiping my face and wished for it all to go away. I was afraid to ask Alexa what time it was. I could tell I hadn’t been asleep all that long. I would have liked to wake up and discover it was Monday.

“Alexa what time is it?”

She told me it was nine. I groaned, frustrated to discover I had only slept for forty minutes. I was going to die if I didn’t sleep. Maybe not quite that dramatic, but I felt like hell. I was so damn tired. I had gone through the high and the low that always followed when I was stuck in one of these no sleep cycles.

Throwing off my blanket, I was pissed at myself and the world. I stumbled into the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face. I hoped Luke went home and got some sleep. The last time I had heard from him was around five when I insisted he go. He was such a sweetheart. We had talked for hours last night. I heard him dozing off and knew he was struggling.

I wasn’t sure if he would be in the kitchen or maybe still sleeping. I hoped it was the latter. The man needed to sleep. I promised myself I would shower after I had some coffee. A lot of coffee. I smelled coffee and smiled. He was back.

“Hello,” I called out.

“Good morning, sunshine,” Mel’s voice rang out.