Fix Me

I had to believe her and I wasn’t going to interrogate her. “Okay.”

“Why do you ask?”

Once again, I debated lying to her. “You say his name a lot when you’re asleep.”

She hissed. “I’m sorry. It isn’t the reason you think.”

“It’s okay,” I assured her again.

“This is going to sound really weird, but it isn’t really Nate I’m dreaming about. Sometimes, it is, but those dreams are usually the dreams, nightmares really, about the accident. I told you, we had a hell of a fight before I got in my car. It’s usually just a replay of the night. Over and over.”

“If it isn’t Nate, who is it?”

She winced. “You.”

“Me?” I asked, not sure if I was offended that she was calling me Nate or not.

“I don’t know what you look like. I have a good idea, but I don’t have an image of you in my mind to fall back on. It’s crazy, but I see your body, at least the body I have felt, but when you look at me, you have Nate’s face. I recognize you as you, but I get so angry that it’s Nate. I’m not dreaming about him or fantasizing about him.”

I grinned. “But you are fantasizing about me?”

There was a slight blush on her cheeks. “Stop it.”

“I dream about you—a lot.”

“Do you?”

“I do. I want you to know that no matter what happens, I want to be with you. It’s pretty much all I think about. We have to get through this surgery and once that is done, we can see where this goes. If you want to.”

“I do.”

“Good,” I said, giving her hand a good squeeze.

We sat in silence, drinking our coffee and enjoying the peacefulness of the morning. I often felt like an old married couple. We had our usual routine. It was nothing fancy or exciting, but it was very us. I thought about what our lives would be like if her surgery was successful. Truthfully, I was a little worried that things would change between us.

“Do you think you’ll want to see other men if you get your sight back?” I asked her.

“What? No!”

“You said you were in a long relationship with Nate. You never got the chance to really live it up. If you had a new lease on life, it wouldn’t be unheard of for you to take advantage of that. I just want to be prepared.”

She turned her face towards me and smiled. “Now who’s insecure?”

I laughed. “I’m not going to deny it. You’re gorgeous. Men are going to be chasing after you.”

I didn’t say it, but I couldn’t help but consider the things my mom had said about our differences in status. She was wealthy and would have wealthy men after her. They would be able to whisk her away on their private jets and take her out for lavish dinners. I couldn’t compete with that.

“I don’t want them. I want you.”

“What if you don’t like what you see?”

“For just this once, I’m going to tell you your little insecurities are very cute. I don’t have to see you to know I like you. I don?

??t care what you look like. I know what you feel like.”

The words were intimate and sexy and oh so powerful. It was tempting to take her right there. We were alone. “We should go for that swim.”

“I’ll go change,” she said, getting to her feet.