My father laughed. “I have a feeling your sight will make up for it.”
I focused on the warmth of Luke’s hand as he ushered me through the halls and into an elevator. I tried to stay positive, not wanting to have a panic attack. If I did, I knew the surgery would be delayed or possibly canceled. The doctors were busy, and they wouldn’t keep putting up with my constant cancellations.
“Right in here,” Luke guided.
“Good morning,” I heard a woman say. “Who do we have here?”
“Gabrielle Sullivan,” my father answered with his usual authoritative tone. He said my name like he was announcing the Queen of England. “We have surgery scheduled with Dr. Tanner and Dr. Garry.”
There was a moment of silence. My palms began to sweat and I feared there had been a mistake, like the surgery was on a different day or not scheduled at all. Luke gave my hand a gentle squeeze, calming me down.
“Here you are. Alright guys, I’m going to take her back and we’ll get her prepped.”
“They can’t come with me?” I asked, fear enveloping me.
“Not back here, but they will be nearby,” the woman assured me. “I’ll be with you the entire time. My name is Joanie. You’re in good hands, I promise.”
“You’ll be fine,” Luke said. “We will be right here.”
He gave me a hug before my father pulled me into his arms. “I’m proud of you, Bree. I know this is a big step for you. I’ll be right here waiting for you.”
I fought back tears and nodded. “Okay.”
“Right this way,” Joanie said, and just like that, my two rocks were gone, and I was all alone in a strange world.
It was then that I realized just how dependent I was on Luke and my father. They had been around me almost constantly for the last month. If I wasn’t with them, I was in a safe, familiar place. Now, I was without my guides in an unfamiliar territory.
“Take a deep breath,” Joanie instructed.
I gulped in air, trying to fight the rising panic. “I’m trying.”
“We are stepping into a room,” she said, keeping her voice calm. “You’ll need to get undressed and put on a gown. Do you need me to help you with that?”
I shook my head. “No, I can do it.”
“Before we do that, let’s take a second to slow down your breathing, hon. Have a seat and let’s take a minute.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I don’t mean to.”
“Hey, it’s perfectly normal,” she assured me. “Don’t worry, we’ll fix it. Let’s just slow it down, one breath in and hold.”
I followed her instructions, slowing my breathing and my racing heart. In the process I got a grip on the panic. “Okay,” I said, feeling more confident.
“Much better. Alright, go ahead and get changed, I’ll be just a few feet away. The gown is on the bed in front of you.”
I nodded. “Thank you.”
She left me alone to strip and change. Now that it was happening, I was having second thoughts. I was terrified that something would go wrong. I replayed my last words to Luke. They were not the last words I ever wanted to say to him. I pushed down the panic and told myself they weren’t my last words. It was a simple surgery and if all went well, I would be in the recovery room within a couple hours.
“I’m ready,” I called out.
Joanie returned and helped me into the bed. “Dr. Tanner is here to see you,” Joanie said.
“Hello Bree,” I heard her familiar voice. “How are you doing?”
“Nervous. Scared. Hopeful.”
Ellis laughed. “That is all totally normal. We’re all ready for you. Joanie and I are going to take you into the surgery room. We’ll be putting a mask over your face and the next thing you know; you will be waking up with bandages over your eyes. It’s important you don’t pull at those bandages, okay?”