Wash

Shock flooded over me, and every square inch of me, inside and out, seemed to crumble, as if I’d been hit by a Mack truck. “So you tell me thirty minutes before you’re supposed to walk down the aisle? What am I supposed to tell everyone?”

“I’m sorry.”

“I love you, Jake. I love you so much. Please don’t do this.”

He didn’t even bother returning those three precious words.

My hand trembled as I held the phone. “We need to talk face to face. I at least deserve that, don’t you think?”

“I’ve gotta go,” he whispered.

“Baby, please don’t! Jake!” I begged.

Click.

My heart lurched. I frantically called him back, but it just rang and rang. “C’mon, Jakey. Please pick up!” I shouted. A second later, my panic had turned to anger. “Pick up the damn phone.” With shaky fingers, I texted him: “U have 2 talk 2 me!”

“It’s over. I’m sorry. I think it’s best if U never call this # again.”

As I gazed down at the heartless, dismissive text, I screamed. The thought of never talking to him again, of never seeing him again, of him not sliding that ring on my finger tore me in two.

“What’s wrong?” Nadia asked.

Overcome with a rollercoaster of emotions, I threw my cell phone, shattering it against the wall. “He’s backing out. Jake’s not coming.”

“What?” she questioned in complete disbelief. “Where is he?”

My breath hitched in my throat.

“Ashly?”

“I-I don’t know.” My heart was beating a million times a minute. “He’s not coming,” I repeated, my voice barely able to tremble out the words.

She gripped my shaking hands. “What do you mean?”

“He’s pulling the plug on our wonderful life,” I barely choked out, “and he just told me to never contact him again.”

“That’s crazy,” she retorted. “Why?”

“He says he can’t…that he’s not ready,” I gasped between sobs. “I feel like I’ve just been hit by a semi, and I didn’t even see it coming!”

“He’s despicable!” Nadia shouted,

pulling me into a close embrace.

Emotion flooded through me, more like a monsoon this time, and I let out a sob so loud I was sure the entire church had heard it. I’d never felt pain and grief rip through me like that. How could he dump me at the altar? He couldn’t have told me this last night, before all the guests came, before I got all dressed up like some stupid fairytale princess in this ridiculous dress? Who needs all these beads and lace anyway?

I shouted. I cursed. I cried. He was everything I wanted and more, and now I’d never have him.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Brides are supposed to run away, not grooms! Didn’t he ever see that Julia Roberts movie?

I couldn’t breathe.

I fell into a pit of despair as my world crashed down around me. I couldn’t help wondering what the heck had happened. We’d seen each other the night before, and everything had seemed fine, perfect as always. As usual, we couldn’t stop staring into each other’s eyes. When we talked about the wedding, he’d seemed more excited than me. As a matter of fact, it was all he talked about, and he said more than once that he couldn’t wait to see me in my wedding dress. I thought we shared such a deep connection, that we’d forever be madly in love. Why would he just throw it all away? For what? Why? And why won’t he even talk to me about it?

“Nadia,” I said, sniffling.

“Yeah? What is it, sweetie?”