He smiled at her as gently as he could. “I know you did not want to tell me, love,” he pretended to assure her, “but I noticed your appetite gone, and your mother confirmed it.”
“Mother knows?” she asked, her voice tremulous, but she was playing along, and Jasper could only thank his lucky stars for her quick mind.
“You can hardly hide such a thing from a woman who birthed three herself,” he said, smiling. He looked up to see the others avoiding his gaze.
“Jasper! Why did you not tell us?” Robert’s annoyance turned to shock.
“Because I hoped you would let her go!” Jasper said, trying to make himself sound indignant. “You know as well as I do that she’s nothing to you. They want me, not her.”
“And I know you well enough to know you’d do something stupid to try to get away if I let you. I can’t do that.”
“I promise.” Jasper stared at him. He had to get back to Clara, part of his mind whispered, and another part whispered that if he let Cecelia be hurt for his folly, neither he nor Clara would survive their guilt. Clara would understand. She would have to. “Put me in chains, Knox. Kill me here. Just let her go home. She’s with child, for Heaven’s sake.”
Robert looke
d around at the group of men, clustered, looking at him expectantly, and he sighed deeply.
“This way, Perry.”
Jasper hesitated. Was this it then? Was Knox going to take his bargain and kill him right here, right now? But Knox shook his head, and Jasper let out a breath. A quick death would be preferable, but even the moment of fear had been paralyzing.
When they were away, Robert turned on him.
“What?” Jasper asked.
“Why do you not treat her like your wife? No kisses, no embraces.” Robert looked at him long and hard. “You stare into the distance more than you look at her.”
He must not know the truth. Jasper fought the urge to speak reflexively, and chose his words. “Do you think I could bear to look at her?” he asked softly. “She knew what I was and she was good-hearted when I was at my lowest. I was unkind to her, you know, and when I realized I loved her.” He sighed. “I nearly left her still. Can you understand my love of her, even if she’s a Yankee?”
“She’s a fine woman,” Robert said after a moment. “No sniveling. I like that in a woman. And carrying on well for being with child.” There was no doubt in his voice. “Yes, I can understand, Perry.”
“And now this woman, who gave me everything when I was too sick and miserable to give her anything in return, will have nothing from me but a mouth to feed and no one to help her feed it. What’ll happen to her, Knox?”
“You’re trying for pity now?” His face turned stone-like.
“No,” Jasper assured him. “I know I have to stand trial for my crimes. I’m not asking you to let me go. But can you not understand that I can hardly bear to look at her? Please, let her go. Let her grieve me. Let her start over.”
Robert heaved a sigh and looked back at the camp. “You know I can’t do that,” he said finally.
“Knox, why?” Jasper stood no chance. He had condemned an innocent woman to death.
“Because I can’t trust any of the men with her,” Knox said brutally. “They’ve kept their hands off her because they’re afraid of me, but I can’t leave her with any of them.” He ran his hand over his forehead and spat again. “And I can’t leave you with them and go back with her, either. They’d tear you to pieces before you ever got to trial, Perry.”
Robert was right. Jasper didn’t want to admit it, but he had seen the way the militia men glared at him. “Will you promise to bring her back yourself?”
“You’re asking a lot for a traitor.”
“I can’t not ask!”
“Aye, I can see that. Well enough, Perry. I promise. But in return, you must give me something.”
“You can have the homestead,” Jasper said promptly. “It’s yours.”
“Not that.” Robert leaned back against the tree, and crossed his arms. “How about you tell me the truth.”
Jasper must have frozen, for the man laughed.
“I knew it.”