To be fair, I had no clue what was going on with me. But it seemed like the only thing to do was say yes and let myself be pushed and pulled in whatever direction the universe happened to have in store for me this evening. Right now, that seemed to be with Ben. I swallowed and nodded hesitantly.
“We can get out of here if you’re uncomfortable,” she said. She leaned back and looked me in the face, examining me for signs of uncertainty.
“I don’t know,” I said, biting my lip. “What do you think?” I snuck a glance at Ben and noticed that he was leaning back against the bar, intently watching us whisper back and forth.
“Well, for starters, he’s hot as hell.”
I giggled nervously.
“And what’s the harm in a bike ride? It’ll be fun. He seems trustworthy and sober. I think you should do it.”
“Are you sure?” I asked. I was putting all my trust in her to be the voice of reason. Knowing Lori and how reckless she could be at times, that might have been a mistake, but all my senses seemed to have abandoned me completely.
“Look, Carmen,” she said. She squeezed my hand in hers. “You never take risks like this. Your dad isn’t here to tell you no. I say you should go for it. Live on the wild side.” She jerked her head at Ben. “And what’s wilder than a ride with a sexy biker? Besides,” she added in a sarcastic drawl, “it’s not like you have to sleep with him.”
I nodded again. “Just the ride.”
“Just the ride,” she confirmed. There was a tone to her voice that made me think she had no intentions of letting me stop at just the ride, but before I could ask her what exactly she had in mind for me, Ben leaned back towards us.
“Everything all right, ladies?” he asked.
“Just peachy,” Lori shot back right away. “Carmen is excited. Which way’s your bike?”
He straightened upright and cracked his knuckles. “This way,” he said.
“Excellent. Carmen, we’ll see you in a little bit. Have fun, you wild child.” She winked. “Hawkeye, let’s go find a drink.” Without waiting to say goodbye, they zipped off into the crowd.
Then I was alone with Ben.
He smiled at me again. I’d never known why girls in the movies always seemed to swoon when the handsome hero gave them a grin. But when Ben did it, I suddenly understood. I felt a rush of blood to my head and I got a little wobbly. I wanted to blame the liquor, but I knew what—or rather, who—was really in charge here.
He put his hand on the small of my back again and steered me towards the exit. As we pushed through the crowd, him guiding me around clusters of drunk Soldiers members and their groupies, I could only focus on the heat of his touch. It seemed like it was spreading from the actual points of contact to cover my entire body in one big sheet of fiery goodness. I felt hot and cold and hot again. My body was going haywire. The mission control in my nervous system had completely abandoned its post, and now I didn’t know what to do with myself. Had my hands always felt this heavy and weird? Had my feet always been so hard to pick up and move?
Snap out of it, Carmen. Stop acting like such a clown. He’s just a man. Yes, he was just a man, but he was unlike any man I’d ever seen before. To use one of Lori’s favorite phrases, I needed to get my shit together.
The cool air of the night outside hitting my face brought me back to earth a little bit. I felt my pulse settle down a notch and my throat open up to let normal-sized breaths in for the first time since Ben had barged into my life.
“What a night for a ride,” he said. “Come on, I’m right over here.” He let his hand fall from my back. I was surprised by how much I missed it right away.
We turned a corner and there it was—a gleaming, intimidating hunk of intricately worked metal that looked capable of fighting a war or maybe even taking off into space, depending on the skill of the person riding it. Judging by how Ben walked over and began expertly flicking switches, I had no doubt that he could make the motorcycle do anything he wanted.
I stood a few feet away, looking at him as he checked a few things on the underside of the engine. I glanced back at the party. Lights poured from the windows. The muffled groan of music and voices battling it out in the crowded building seeped through into the night.
“Do you always chew your nails when you’re nervous?”