But when he rose and walked over to me, I felt it roar back to life suddenly. His presence was enough to shorten my breath. I felt tiny next to him, and unlike last night, this time I knew what it was like to be claimed and taken by this man. I’d never come so hard in my life. I’d never wanted it so badly. I shuddered. The memory alone was enough to send teasing sparks rippling over my skin and between my legs.
“It was nice to meet you, Carmen,” he said. “I hope I can see you again soon.”
I started to say, “I hope I can, too” when the sound of a blaring car horn interrupted me halfway through the thought. “That must be Lori,” I said. The panic had not let go of me. Every time I blinked, I saw a vision of my dad’s eyes purpling with rage. If I got caught like this, I’d never be allowed out of the house again. “I have to go.”
“Give me your number,” he said. He reached to the desk behind me and plucked a marker from a cup. Offering me his forearm, I quickly scribbled my number across his skin. The car horn honked again.
“I really have to go now,” I said.
“Okay,” he replied simply. He bent down and kissed me again and for one crazy moment I considered not going home. Why not just stay here? These few hours were the best I’d had in months—no, years—heck, maybe the best ever. I’d felt free and smooth and not chained down like I always did. I hadn’t felt this good since before my mom died. Since my father had decided to start playing jail warden.
But the third honk brought me plummeting back to reality. I needed to go, right now. I broke the kiss off and looked at him as hard as I could. I wanted to sear the image of Ben—his body, his soft mouth, the tattoos swirling across his chest—into my retinas so I would never, ever be able to forget it.
Then I turned and ran out.
“You need to tell me what the hell you got into last night,” Lori demanded as soon as I scrambled into the front seat of her car.
“I don’t even know where to begin,” I replied. I stared straight ahead. I couldn’t bear to look at Lori right now. There was too much of a crazy emotional storm building up in my chest.
“Did you sleep with him?” she asked excitedly.
I didn’t answer.
“You did, didn’t you? Carmen, that’s fantastic!” She squealed happily and drummed her hands on the steering wheel before beginning to batter me with questions. “How was it? Was he good? Are you going to see him again?”
It wasn’t until my sobs got loud enough for her to hear that she realized I was bawling.
“Oh, my God. Carmen. Car, baby, look at me,” she said in alarm. “C’mon, honey, it’s okay. Couldn’t have been that bad. Shh, shh.”
Words blubbered out of me in response, none of them making any sense. But Lori knew me well enough to just stroke my shoulder with her free hand as we shot down the road as fast as she could manage. I eventually gave up trying to explain and just let the tears flow.
By the time we reached the front of my house, I was mostly calm. But I felt hollow and thin. My eyes were swollen with insufficient sleep and the overwhelming emotions.
“I’ll call you later, okay, honey?” she said sympathetically as we pulled to a stop. I nodded and wiped the streaked mascara away from the bags beneath my eyes. “Now get inside. I don’t see your dad’s bike, so hopefully he’s not home yet.” She patted my head one more time before I climbed out.
I raced to the front door and jammed my key in the lock. “C’mon, c’mon,” I begged, “open up, please.” It finally gave way and I burst inside as Lori drove away.
I shut the door behind me and paused for a moment to listen. The house was deathly still and completely dark. No lights shone on the ground floor. So far, so good. I just had to make it to my room and climb into bed. Then I’d be safe enough to sleep for a while before I had to wake up and interpret the insane twists my life had taken over the last twenty-four hours.
My thoughts were a swirling mix of my father, the biology tests looming in front of me, and, underneath it all, Ben. What was I supposed to make of everything that had happened with him? I shook my head. That would have to come later. For now, safety lay in my room. Everything between here and there screamed danger.
I looked up from the bottom of the stairs. From what I could see, the light in my father’s office wasn’t on. I slipped off my heels and crept up, one stair at a time, craning my neck to see if there was anything moving on the second floor.