Gift From The Bad Boy

“Goddammit, Spark,” Jay cursed. “I thought you got fucking ambushed or something.”

“You big, dumb asshole, you had us all going for a second,” added Duncan.

We trooped back up the stairs, feeling worn through but still managing to find the humor in the situation. Little by little, the anxiety that had been working its way into a tight little knot in my stomach began to loosen.

The men said their goodbyes and took off one by one, loading up on their bikes and rumbling down the road to sleep for a few hours before getting back to the files. I was the last one to leave. The sun was starting to kiss the horizon.

Grabbing my cell phone, I dialed the number of the little burner I’d bought for Carmen. She picked up on the second ring. “Hi,” she said brightly.

“Hey, you at home?”

“No, I stepped out to get a quick couple things I needed.”

“Need a ride?”

“Sure! If it’s not too much trouble.” She rattled off the name of a store I vaguely recognized, and I took off to pick her up.

She was waiting out on the curb with a small pale green bag looped over her forearm when I pulled up out front. “Get anything good?” I asked.

“Maybe,” she quipped. “It’s a surprise, though.”

“Who said you were allowed to have secrets?”

“Certainly not you, Mr. Killmore.”

“Carmen…” I growled warningly.

“I know, I know, you hate that. But I think it’s funny. You’re gonna have to make me shut up.”

“I just might. I just might.”

She clambered on and wrapped her thin arms around my waist. We slid out smoothly onto the road. It was only a half mile or so back to the apartment. But just as we approached the intersection where I normally took a left to go back home, I paused, rolling to a gentle stop. “Are you in any rush to get back?” I asked cautiously.

“Not in particular,” she said.

“Want to see something?”

“Yeah, sure.” She sounded confused but I could hear her smile.

“It’s a bit of a ride, just warning you.”

“That’s fine, Ben. I like riding with you.” She adjusted her grip on my sides.

I nodded, settled back into the seat, and swung the bike to the right. We took off, headed for the highway.

Twenty minutes of open throttle later, we edged off the road underneath a big sign for the state park. The asphalt turned into hard-packed dirt that got gradually less and less smooth as we rode deeper into the grounds. The landscape on either side of us was lush with late summer flowers blooming in the light of the setting sun. Yellows, purples, and faded greens were swept across the ground as far as the eye could see, like big, messy brushes of paint.

We approached the foothills and slowly the road died out altogether, leaving me to weave the bike around the bigger potholes. I tried to go as carefully as I could, since I was worried about jolting Carmen around too much. The idea of the baby was constantly gnawing at the back of my head. Until now, it had been just a theoretical thing, not a real one. But it was happening, whether I liked it or not. I hadn’t yet decided if I did.

Soon, we were cruising between the rolling hills. We reached a point where the terra cotta clay gave way to gravel. I brought the bike to a halt and killed the engine. Silence took over. I sat still for a second, listening to nothing but the hush of the window in the tall grasses. I could feel Carmen tensing behind me, wondering what was going on.

I climbed off and then helped her off as well. “Come on,” I said. “Not much farther.”

She followed me as I wound my way confidently behind one hill, towards where two massive boulders were nestled against each other. I turned to face her. “This is the last part,” I said, “but it’s the hardest. Think you can handle it?”

She screwed up her face in a pouty scowl. “Of course I can,” she said.

I grinned. “Let’s go, then.” I walked up to the boulders and found the familiar handholds. Even after all these years, I remembered exactly where they were. “Watch how I do it,” I instructed over my shoulder. I began to climb. It was easy. My body knew the path. Right hand up, right foot followed, left hand, right hand, then swing over the top. Before I knew it, I was ten feet off the ground. I spun back around to look down at Carmen where she stood below me. “There’s not enough room for you to get up if I’m up here, too, so I’m going to drop off the other side,” I said. “But I’ll still be right here. Don’t worry.” She nodded.

I tried to ignore my nervousness as she got ready to climb. From this angle, the belly she was growing was even more obvious than it was when I looked at her straight on. I couldn’t believe that there was a baby in there. My baby. It was too crazy to comprehend. I never thought I’d see the day when I became a father. On the other hand, I still wasn’t sure I would.