“I won’t meet you unless you tell me what’s going on.”
“Carmen, I said I’d—”
“No. I need to know now. I won’t lie to Ben without good reason. Tell me what’s happening or I won’t come.”
I could hear him sigh, his voice crackling through the connection. “Very well,” he said. “I tried to protect you from this for as long as I could. But maybe you’re right. Maybe it’s time for you to know.”
The dread was closing in around me. It felt cold, wet, dark. I didn’t think I was ready to hear what was coming next. But I had to. It was time.
“Carmen, Ben was the one who killed your mother.”
# # #
As soon as the car came to a stop, I leaped out of the passenger’s seat and ran towards the little house. My father emerged from the doorway as I crossed the yard. I barreled into him, throwing my arms around his neck and sobbing.
“Shh, it’s okay, baby,” he said, rubbing the back of my head as he hugged me back. “It’s going to be okay. Everything is going to be just fine. I promise.”
“Daddy,” I choked through sobs, “how could you not tell me? How could you let me do all of this?”
He held me at arms’ length and studied me carefully with his gray eyes. “I made a mistake,” he said eventually. “I acted out of anger and spite. I should have known that keeping you locked away wouldn’t do what I wanted it to do. I wanted you to be safe, that’s all. After that monster stole my wife, stole your mother away from me, I was desperate to protect what I had left.”
“But you gave him to me,” I said, sniffling.
“I’m sorry, Carmen.” He stroked away a tear running down my cheek. To my surprise, I saw one shining at the corner of his eye. He rubbed at it with the heel of his hand. His whole face was softened in sadness. “I thought you had chosen him, in a way. That it was just my fate to have him take everything from me. I shouldn’t have done that. It was wrong of me. I hope you can forgive me.”
I didn’t know what to say. I was stunned that he was crying and that he was telling me all these things. He’d waited so long. If I’d known Ben was the one who murdered my mother, I would never have gone to the party to begin with. All the memories I had of him, the ones that had been so comforting this morning, were tinged now with a sickly sheen, like someone had come along and wiped a nasty, greasy film on top of them. He was distorted in my mind’s eye. He was exactly what my father had called him: a monster. Not satisfied with taking my mother, he had to take me, too.
No wonder he refused to tell me about the cause of the hatred between my father and him. It was him all along! He kept me close to him because winning me over would be the final dagger in my dad’s heart. He’d been so charming, so loving, so goddamn cunning. I hated him. I hated Ben Killmore.
But was I ready to forgive my father? It was hard to say. Even if he had felt like I had betrayed him by sleeping with Ben, it had been so wrong of him to just cut me out of his life like that. What father abandoned his daughter to his worst enemy, her mother’s murderer?
“I know it’s going to take a long time to earn you trust back, Carmen,” he said. “I understand that. I just want you to know I’m here now, and I won’t leave you ever again. I love you, baby girl.”
I buried my face in his chest as the tears dried up. “I love you, too, Daddy.” His arms around me were huge and comforting. They blocked out the world around me. I didn’t want to be anywhere else but here.
“Come inside,” he said. “There’s some food here. Lasagna, your favorite. I want it to be like old times, just you and me.” He kept an arm around my shoulders as he guided me inside.
I cast a look behind me just before we crossed the threshold. The man who had driven me here, a massive mountain of a biker with a black and red bandana tied around each bicep, had taken a seat on a lawn chair at the front of the yard. He had an automatic rifle lying across his lap. I frowned, but kept walking. Daddy pulled the door shut behind me.
The table inside was heavy with a heaping tray of lasagna and plates of breadsticks. There were table settings for three, but he didn’t say anything as he pulled out a chair for me to sit in. I settled down and tried to calm my breathing down.