Gift From The Bad Boy

After the initial shock of what he had told me, I was beginning to come back to earth. It felt like things were finally clicking into place. After all, what he’d said had made so much sense. It explained Ben’s vagueness and Jay’s reluctance to explain what his boss was up to. It explained my father’s anger at the wedding. I would probably hate everything the way he had if my daughter had come home pregnant with my worst enemy’s baby. He must have felt like Ben was stealing his whole life away. I couldn’t blame him.

But now he was trying to make things right. He was still my daddy, after all. How could I not love him back? How could I not give him a second chance?

“Everything okay, Car Girl?” he asked from across the table.

I smiled. “Getting there,” I said.

He nodded. “It’ll take time, I know. But we’ve got plenty of that. Now, I’m starving. Let’s eat.”

Taking my plate from in front of me, he ladled out a big slice of the lasagna from the tray in the center of the table, then stacked a pair of breadsticks alongside it. “Here you go, babe,” he said, setting it back down on the placemat.

“Thanks, Daddy.” I dug in quietly. I wanted to focus just on chewing and swallowing. Simple, basic things that I’d been doing my whole life. Bite, chew, swallow. Nothing complicated about that. It felt good to have food in my stomach, like there was something solid and dependable in this world after all.

I still had so many questions for him, though. “Where are we?” I asked after a few minutes of quiet eating.

“Don’t worry about it, dear,” he replied quickly.

I took a deep, shuddering breath. “Daddy, you need to start being more honest with me. I’m an adult now. You can’t keep me hidden away from everything.” My gaze was level, but I was sure to keep my shaking hands below the table. After all, a reaction like that from me flew straight in the face of the relationship I’d had with my father in the three years since my mother died. If I didn’t ask any questions, he wouldn’t have to give me fake answers. It was his own cloaked form of don’t ask, don’t tell.

But I was sick of secrets and lies. If he wanted to be my father again like he said, he needed to start by telling me what he was doing and why.

He swallowed and dabbed at his face with a napkin. “You’re right,” he said softly. “I’m sorry. Old habits die hard. I’ve been a man of secrets for so long that it’s just what comes naturally to me now. But I’ll do my best to level with you whenever I can. This is a house that my club owns to do business from. We’re on the outskirts of town, just off the highway.”

“What kind of business?” I demanded.

“Carmen…” he said warningly. I fixed him with the sternest glare I could muster. I wanted to know. I deserved to know. “Okay,” he said, giving in. “If you insist. It’s nothing bad, mind you—no guns or drugs or anything like that—but it’s not exactly legal by the strictest definitions of the law. One of the things we do is print documents for immigrants coming across the border. Passports, social security cards, that kind of thing, the stuff they need to start a new life here. It’s profitable, yes, but I really think we’re doing some good, too. These are good people. Hardworking. Smart. They just want what’s best for their families. I try to help them get that.”

I nodded slowly as I took in what he was saying. “Okay,” I whispered after a while. “I can live with that.”

He took a drink of water, keeping his eyes on me the whole time before setting it back down on the table with a clink. “I’m not a bad man, Carmen. I’ve been a liar, but I won’t be that anymore. Not to you.”

I focused on my breathing. This was so much at once. My life was being turned upside down for the umpteenth time in the last few months. This time, though, it felt permanent. I meant what I said; I really could live with this. I had my father back, and if Ben was the man Daddy said he was, then I was perfectly fine with him staying in my past. That’s where he belonged—far away from my family and me.

“Next question,” I said. He waved for me to go on. I pointed at the unused place setting. “Who’s that for?”

He smiled sadly. “I’m afraid that one is going to be a secret for just a little bit longer. I’m expecting one more guest tonight.” His gray eyes flashed, stormy and indecipherable.